Getting the Get Threatens the Jews?
I know that some of my Orthodox friends are going to call or write me now and tell me I don't understand. Maybe I don't.
But I do know what abuse is. So was the husband mentioned below abusing his wife because of her infertility? Abuse and marital problems are big issues when there's infertility. Infertility can cause severe depression, acting out and other serious problems in the woman. So because she wasn't breeding it was o.k. to treat her poorly?
And not giving a woman a Get. Making an Agunah out of a woman. Talk about misogyny and control.
These are things I don't think I want to understand.
By ANDREA PEYSER
AND you thought you had trouble committing.
Thirty years after divorce became all the rage in America, the pastime is catching on like wildfire in the kid-rich, ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, where getting a "get" is the new black.
So says psychologist Daniel Schonbuch, who thinks divorces (known in the community as "gets") are threatening Jewish existence. And no one wants to talk about it.
"Among Orthodox Jews, 30 years ago they didn't even use the word 'divorce,' " said Schonbuch, a Lubavitcher who broke from the pack to become a psychologist.
"Now, every Jew knows somebody who's divorced -- not just in the community but in their family, even."
Couples who opt for counseling "keep it hush-hush," he said. "There's a big stigma attached: 'What will happen to my children?' 'What will people think?' "
Hard numbers are difficult to come by. But Schonbuch, who a decade ago founded the Shalom Task Force to fight domestic violence, estimates that Jews will reach the wider world's 50 percent divorce rate within a few years.
So he's taken a page from modern psychology and is quietly counseling Jews on how to stay married. Business is so good that he's written a book, "First Aid for Jewish Marriages," which walks a fine line between religion and realism.
Rachel and Schmuel sought help with their marriage in Crown Heights.
"It was really hush-hush," said Rachel. "I have friends whose husbands say, 'Absolutely not! We're fine.' But we talked it out and decided it was something that would really help us."
One problem they faced was that, after six years of marriage, Rachel had trouble getting pregnant.
Schonbuch taught them to communicate. He also "brought in different things from the Torah."
Three years later, she's the mother of twins and the marriage is strong.
"No marriage is perfect, but I'd like to think we're in a good place," Rachel said.
SOURCE
But I do know what abuse is. So was the husband mentioned below abusing his wife because of her infertility? Abuse and marital problems are big issues when there's infertility. Infertility can cause severe depression, acting out and other serious problems in the woman. So because she wasn't breeding it was o.k. to treat her poorly?
And not giving a woman a Get. Making an Agunah out of a woman. Talk about misogyny and control.
These are things I don't think I want to understand.
By ANDREA PEYSER
AND you thought you had trouble committing.
Thirty years after divorce became all the rage in America, the pastime is catching on like wildfire in the kid-rich, ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, where getting a "get" is the new black.
So says psychologist Daniel Schonbuch, who thinks divorces (known in the community as "gets") are threatening Jewish existence. And no one wants to talk about it.
"Among Orthodox Jews, 30 years ago they didn't even use the word 'divorce,' " said Schonbuch, a Lubavitcher who broke from the pack to become a psychologist.
"Now, every Jew knows somebody who's divorced -- not just in the community but in their family, even."
Couples who opt for counseling "keep it hush-hush," he said. "There's a big stigma attached: 'What will happen to my children?' 'What will people think?' "
Hard numbers are difficult to come by. But Schonbuch, who a decade ago founded the Shalom Task Force to fight domestic violence, estimates that Jews will reach the wider world's 50 percent divorce rate within a few years.
So he's taken a page from modern psychology and is quietly counseling Jews on how to stay married. Business is so good that he's written a book, "First Aid for Jewish Marriages," which walks a fine line between religion and realism.
Rachel and Schmuel sought help with their marriage in Crown Heights.
"It was really hush-hush," said Rachel. "I have friends whose husbands say, 'Absolutely not! We're fine.' But we talked it out and decided it was something that would really help us."
One problem they faced was that, after six years of marriage, Rachel had trouble getting pregnant.
Schonbuch taught them to communicate. He also "brought in different things from the Torah."
Three years later, she's the mother of twins and the marriage is strong.
"No marriage is perfect, but I'd like to think we're in a good place," Rachel said.
SOURCE
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