BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by Jeanne Safer, PhD. From the political to the personal, Americans are caught in an orgy of forgiveness. Failure to pardon, we're constantly admonished, will blight our lives. Now a psychotherapist counters that popular claim. You can refuse to absolve your lover, spouse, parent, sibling or friend, she declares, and still be emotionally healthy. Flip to any television station these days and chances are we'll be witness to some dramatic episode of forgiveness. We see a mother and daughter estranged for years kiss and make up, a long-feuding couple holding hands and renewing vows, scandal-plagued politicians asking for absolution and granting it to their accusers. Tears flow, hugs proliferate, and the inevitable psychological experts solemnly intone that traditional psychotherapy has neglected this essential element of cure and that studies show that forgiving alleviates depression and enhances self-esteem. What's wrong with this picture? The capacity to forgive is an essent...

Are Blogs Kosher? Free-wheeling blogs — unrestricted news, opinion, and discussion Web sites that break, make and spin the latest on any number of topics — have been proliferating for years. Now there are a number of Jewish sites that scrutinize everything from Israeli politics to shul gossip. They’re the new “Bubbie Hotline.” Several of them have recently brought to light a number of rabbinic abuse cases and have succeeded in generating community interest and outrage , forcing a few rabbis from their positions, and casting aspersions on the characters of others . To some, these sites are cesspools of unfettered, unaccountable tripe and vilifying slander that malign individuals and besmirch the community. To others, they are the Hyde Parks of protest and free speech, a place where victims can finally speak without fear of counter attack, and interested parties can press for justice by doing end-runs around denial and cover-up. So are these blogs kosher — are they the right place for...