BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Speaking out about the wrongdoings of people who abuse others, politicians and about my government has earned me some accusations of performing LASHON HARA . A wonderful commentary from Radical Torah however, throws it into a whole new light for me: (excerpts) Well, who do I know who loves rebuke? Let’s see. There’s — no, well, how about — no. Hmm. I think , didn’t — …uh, nope, not her either. Maybe..? No, nope. Well, I can’t really think of anyone I know who loves rebuke. But rebuking, that’s another story. I’m sure we can all think of lots of folks who are pretty into it. They swoop into your office on an already unpleasant Monday to let you know about some trivial thing that no one but them noticed. Or they call you up and sweetly tell you they told you so. Or — Hey, Mom, do I have to hear about that again? But surely, that’s not what the Torah is speaking of when it tells us this week, Leviticus 19:17: You shall not hate your brother in your heart; you shall surely rebuke...

This is what happens when abuse victims (ANY kind of abuse, and any religious or cultural background) are silenced!: By SUSAN EDELMAN and KIRSTEN FLEMING A Brooklyn newlywed who jumped to his death from a hotel balcony the night after his wedding was tormented by memories of being sexually molested as a Jewish student, sources say. After joyfully singing and dancing at their lavish celebration in Williamsburg on Nov. 3, Motty Borger, 24, bared his secret anguish to his bride, Mali Gutman, the next day -- and the revelation caused a strain, a source close to the family told The Post. "That entire day he discussed it with her. He told her the story of his life, how he felt so awful and he couldn't go near her," the source said. The couple had met just last July, after a matchmaker set them up. "When he got married, he realized he couldn't face up to it, and he told his wife that he needed help." The stunned bride responded, "So, why did you m...

Let Them Talk Rabbi Mark Dratch JSafe: The Jewish Institute Supporting an Abuse Free Environment “You are not allowed to say negative things,” they are told. “There’s no proof!” The prohibition of Lashon Hara (slander, gossip, tale-bearing) is often used as a tool to silence abuse victims and their advocates from speaking out against abusers. “There are n o witnesses.” “You can’t make this public.” “Keep the secret! Remain silent!” And so women, girls, boys, and men are silenced and are often unable to get the help that they need or appeal for the support that they deserve. By invoking lashon hara improperly, the community to which they turn not only revictimizes them, but enables their abusers to continue abusing them and, potentially, others as well. These attitudes are articulated by many: rabbis, friends, neighbors. They find expression in many places, including the following rabbinic legal responsum. The rabbi is asked whether one should report to the legal authorities a father ...

Many professedly religious communities, Catholics, Jews and Evangelicals - often close ranks around an abuser. Sexual abuser, harrasser, misogynist, wife beater, verbal abuser, exploiter of the vulnerable, etc. This is wrong . It invalidates victims and their families causing untold psychological harm. When the victims speak out they are called LIARS and their stories are minimized by powerful and duplicitous people. Silence about a wrong is COMPLICITY in my book. When you don't speak out about something that's very wrong - you are not being polite, avoiding Lashon Hara or 'minding your own business' - you are being a lemming and enabling more abuse. - Barbara Here's one of my all time favorite quotes: "Powerful and sneaky people use apologies as end runs around repentance. They betray a trust; and, when they have been found out, they say they are sorry for "mistakes in judgment"... They get by only because we have lost our sense of the differenc...

This was so good, I am reposting it here - Barbara by MICHAEL J. SALAMON Two items recently crossed my desk. The first was an article that appeared in The Jerusalem Post written by Matthew Wagner entitled "Haredim move to silence 'treif' music". It was about a movement to ban musicians who produce or perform any music which the Guardians of Sanctity and Education deem inappropriate. Musicians playing such music would be banned from playing in wedding halls, their CDs would be banned and their concerts disallowed. The other item was a breaking news piece from JTA indicating that Rabbi Benzion Twerski had resigned from a task force in formation being brought together to deal with sexual abuse in the Orthodox community. New York State Assemblyman Dov Hikind, also an Orthodox Jew, is establishing the task force to deal with this scourge. Twerski resigned because of the many threats against him and his family made by several individuals from his community. When taken toge...

a halber emes iz a gantser lign A half-truth is a whole lie. Jewish Proverb

From THE AWARENESS CENTER Regarding New York Assemblyman Dov Hikind By Vicki Polin Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people; neither shalt thou stand idly by the blood of thy neighbor" (Leviticus 19:16). It saddens me a great deal to see how a few Jewish leaders in the orthodox world appear to be manipulating community members into believing they do not have to report heinous crimes to child protective services. Orthodox children deserve the same rights and protection as other children in the Unitied States of America. I personally believe that Assemblyman Dov Hikind is wrong and is violating the civil rights of children from Torah observant homes. Each day that goes by that he refuses to work with law enforcement officials means another child is being sexually victimized. One has to realize that turning over the names of alleged sex offenders and also those who were allegedly sexually abused to child protection workers does not mean that the names will be...

By Carrie Devorah Jewish Women International Magazine published an excerpt from David Berger’s last letter written, 1941, before he was murdered by the Nazis. It stands to consider that David, like many other victims of Nazi degradation, was stripped of his sexual identity, head shaved, dressed in shapeless clothing, then dehumanized with verbal, physical and sexual abuse. When dead, Nazis left their victims, forgotten. David was committed to living eternally. He wrote, “I should like someone to remember that there once lived a person named David Berger.” Victims of other abuses wish to be seen and heard, while still living. Some speak up. Social pressure and religious beliefs step in the way of their allegations being paid credence, so the abuse continues, a tradition, so to speak, passed down within families, even Jewish families, along with recipes for Passover’s French toast, gefilte fish or chicken soup. Victims are reproached with, “he’s a Rabbi/ married family man/ good person,...