BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by Judith Fein Eighteen years ago, Erv Hinds was a traditional anesthesiologist with an open-heart surgery team. Today he's gone from putting people to sleep with drugs to trying to wake them up with what he calls patient-centered pain treatment. In his practice at the Albuquerque Pain Center, pain at every level is taken seriously. "Patients need to develop a vertical relationship - to nature or Jesus or Buddha or God," says Hinds, "or something that gets them out of entrenchment, outside of themselves." The journey that brought him to this point began when an X-ray revealed that he needed a heart valve replacement. "I didn't know what to do," Hinds says. He prayed with his Presbyterian pastor and did research in the University of New Mexico library. There he found a journal article about a surgeon in France named Carpentier who was repairing valves instead of replacing them, something not done in America. "Carpentier had done most of hi...

By Yisrael Pinson Do you ever think to yourself: What in the world is wrong with people? Aren't they getting what I'm getting? Aren't they feeling what I'm feeling? You may have just lost a dear family member. The grief is insurmountable. You are driving in the limo from the chapel to the cemetery and you look out the window. People are walking around, shopping, having lunch, and going about their day. And you ask yourself: What in the world is wrong with these people? Aren't they getting what I'm getting? Aren't they feeling what I'm feeling? You may have just experienced the birth of a child for the first time. You are excitedly calling friends and family, while your wife holds the newborn. You are pacing down the hallways, and pass by the nurse's station. One nurse is complaining about her nails, the other talks about the cable guy. And you ask yourself: What in the world is wrong with people? Aren't they getting what I'm getting? Aren...

by 'Anna Valerious' at Narcissists Suck: This question was somewhat addressed by me in my post, T hey DO Have Empathy...Just Not for You . I mentioned that the narcissist has oodles and bunches of compassion (empathy) but only enough for themselves. You don't get any. The "Do They Have Feelings? " question is answered in the same way: Yes, they do, but only for themselves. In my experience with narcissists (which includes a larger circle than just my mother and sister for you folks who think I extrapolate off of only those two) the more narcissistic a person is the easier it is to hurt their feelings. They have the tenderest little feelings. Boo, f**king, hoo. They can be the biggest ass about your feelings, but watch the tears (or rage) start when you accidentally bump into one of theirs! I feel the need to ask (and answer) this question even though it appears to be the same question as to whether or not the narcissist has empathy. They are essentially the same q...

by Kathy Krajco There is no end of gobbledygook out there on the Web about "forgiveness" and "healing." My theory is that it all stems from thinking it a virtue to believe things that defy belief. Then you're stuck having to believe some things that make no sense. The result is tortuously gymnastic twists and turns of logic in oxymorons that call things what they ain't. Just what do people mean when they talk about "forgiving" a narcissist or abuser? I dare say they haven't the foggiest idea what they mean. They have bastardized the word forgiveness by abusing it to mean some vague kind of warm, fuzzy feeling you're supposed to get when your anger passes. Some say that forgiveness is "giving your anger to God." Okay, what the hell does THAT mean? The only way I know of to "give" your anger to anyone is to get angry at them. So, why on earth would you give your anger to God? Wouldn't it be nicer (and smarter) to give ...

Just a few years ago I would tell people, "oh I don't judge." And usually I thought I didn't. But that was a big, fat lie. I judge. We all judge. I judge if the driver in front of me is actually going to make that turn or stop short. I judge how well I am on any given day so that I can make the appointments I have or if I am having such severe pain or cognitive dysfunction I should just call, cancel (which I do a lot) and stay home. I judge whether people are being truthful. Because of events in my life, I judge most everyone these days as untrustworthy if they get too personal with me. And most of all, I judge myself. I judged already that my ability to make good decisions is flawed and my ability to choose friends is downright laughable. I think everyone has an agenda because I don't. My kids sometimes get bullied. Its hard to teach them to be tolerant and how to judge someone who's a true friend from someone who's just a "fr-enemy....

By Julie Steenhuysen When people say "I feel your pain," they do not mean it literally, but certain people really do feel something that appears to be an extreme form of empathy, British researchers said on Sunday. They said watching someone being touched triggers the same part of the brain as actual touch, and this connection helps explain how we understand what other people are feeling. People who experience a tactile sense of touch when they see another person being touched -- something called mirror-touch synesthesia -- was first studied in 2005 in one person. But researchers at University College London have now studied 10 people with the same condition. "It suggests there is a link between certain aspects of the tactile system and empathy," said Michael Banissy of the university's department of psychology, whose work appears in the journal Nature Neuroscience. Banissy and colleagues first did a series of experiments to authenticate peoples' claims that...

Feeling the pain of others as our own by Rabbi Michael Berg The first time I read this, I was moved by it. I have, Baruch Hashem, never had a problem with empathizing with others. Sometimes too much. We can never really know what someone else is truly thinking but we can try to feel what they feel - even if it is different from our own feelings on a given situation. In fact, we must if we are committed to strive toward Godliness. I am reposting it despite the fact that we aren't up to this Parsha yet. And adding the American Indian adage of "Don't judge another until you have walked a mile in his mocassins." - Barbara ~~~~~~~~~ In this portion, we read about the destruction brought about by the great flood. The Torah tells us that the flood was caused by the tremendous negative actions of that generation. The only person worthy in that generation, who merited being saved by the Creator, was Noach. In the book of the prophet Yeshayah, the flood is called “the water...

In the slaughterhouse of love, they kill only the best, none of the weak or deformed. Don't run away from this dying. Whoever's not killed for love is dead meat. - Rumi PLEASE CLICK HERE TO JBLOG ME