BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by Janet Conner I've been a bit of a Scrooge this year. I announced to my family and friends that I was bowing out of the whole present obligation thing. One brother said, "Tough, I'm sending you a present anyway." The other said, "Thank God, I'm not doing presents either." If it weren't for credit card miles, my son wouldn't even be getting a present. I've planned no humongous dinners, no holiday get-togethers, no eggnog, no Christmas cookies, no red and green candles. But I did do one thing: I got a tree. It killed me to drop $70, but I had to have it. I can't explain it, but I love a real Christmas tree. I love the little white lights — the more, the merrier. I love the glass icicles I carefully position in front of the lights. They remind me of the beauty of the real thing back in Wisconsin. Most of all, I love reliving the history — my history — as I take out each ornament: the hand-painted porcelain German bell my acting friend A...

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 4 November 2009 RE: Christmas Party I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols …. please feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party. Merry Christmas to you and your Family. Pauline ********************************************************* FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 5 November 2009 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday’s memo intended ...

Was the dinner good? Mine sure was. Yum! Despite my strict diet I still found some things to enjoy and of course my children made me laugh a lot. But I gotta hand it to Dubya... trying so very hard to go out on a good note, but his White House just couldn't make it. They had to do one incredibly stupid thing for the holidays. Thanks Chimpy... for the laughs. The last 8 years have been horrible and the next 4 ain't looking too great either. But I guess pardoning all the drug-related criminals should have been expected. (I lived through the 70s too, dude) Laura, put down the Celexa. The nightmare's almost over. "Slipped through the cracks?" or is George back on the pipe? Oh well, next year I'll have to go by a burka to attend, right? Just incredible. BWWWAAAHHHHHH HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA By LUKAS I. ALPERT Merry Hanukkah from the White House! The president and the first lady invited leaders of America's Jewish community for a Hanukkah reception at the...

"Teachers' Religious War On Kids Is Everywhere"* Really It Is. Bill Said So...Over...And Over. By Steve Young *Everywhere: How Bill O'Reilly defines the battle when a teacher in Bismark, ND, purporting to push religion is thrown out and a teacher in Santa Ana, CA purporting to push atheism is not. You can tell when the War on Christmas is waning. O'Reilly has put out the warning. All over the country, Christian and conservative kids are being persecuted by secular progressive teachers. "SP teachers are running wild all over America, bullying conservative kids like crazy!" Bill has the tape to prove it. Dr. James Corbett, a high school history teacher in California, was caught on tape calling religion "irrational," accusing conservatives of wanting women to be "pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen," and calling Bill and Sean Hannity "liars." He even pronounced Roger Ailes name wrong and said that Ailes had advised President...

O'Reilly: "[Y]ou're a moron ... [i]f you don't believe" the "secular progressive movement" is behind "war" on Christmas Summary: On The Radio Factor, Bill O'Reilly continued to warn of "a concentrated effort by the secular progressive movement to diminish any kind of spirituality in the public marketplace." O'Reilly was referring to the so-called "war" on Christmas, which he feels is part of a broader agenda to enact "secular progressive programs like legalization of narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will, gay marriage." During the December 19, 2005 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show, The Radio Factor, Bill O'Reilly continued to warn of "a concentrated effort by the secular progressive movement to diminish any kind of spirituality in the public marketplace," a movement he has previously claimed is behind the so-called "war" on Christmas. O'Reilly feels this "...