BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by my friend 'Anna Valerious' (another Child of a Narcissistic Parent and blogger extraordinnaire!) ALL of this is easily extrapolated for use on narcissists & sub-criminal psychopaths in all walks of life (not just parents). ...Evil people don't wake up each day deciding which evil deeds to accomplish. They admit to no evil because define themselves and their deeds as good and right. I'm going to explain a little more how they create this alternate reality. It is important you understand how they twist their thinking because you have probably been sucked into believing their insane logic. I am convinced the narcissist senses deep down they are evil. Their whole existence is defined by their efforts to deny this nagging sense. Hence, the universal quality of narcissists to avoid introspection and their profligate use of projection. It is possible, though very rare, for an evil person to admit they are evil. Evil people who admit they are evil tend toward the...

by Michele Toomey, PhD At first glance one would imagine that abusive betrayal of love refers to having an affair. That is not my focus here, however. Affairs constitute a betrayal of love, but not necessarily an abusive one. I am placing the emphasis on abusive, and that cruel act must have deliberate meanness, indifference to the pain being inflicted, and more often than not, punishment as its intent. For betrayal of love to be abusive, it must have some or all of these traits. In this particular commentary, I would like to direct attention to the abuse that frequently occurs when a relationship ends. Usually only one person wants to end a relationship. The other is often heartbroken and devastated at the prospect of losing the one s/he loves. Obviously, a very vulnerable time for both, if both have integrity and are invested in each other. However, if the one terminating the relationship lacks integrity, the only vulnerable one is the one being left. Rejection is a stinging...

The more I learn about psychology and destructive narcissism (as opposed to healthy narcissism) the more I understand how terrorists, how sexual and emotional predators, religious and spiritual cults, those who exploit the vulnerable, outright abusers -- do it. And continue to. Some people feel America has been "dumbed down." I believe its societal. To use my favorite movie series: The Matrix , only a few of us have taken the red pill . I call this the "Lemming Effect." In my observation, a sadly large proportion of society either won't or don't want to think for themselves. They will go along with the prevailing tide. Heaven forbid they be independent thinkers sending their brains outside the box! They will be shunned by everyone. So, they choose "The Lemming Effect." Or, as I said above, you have the exploiters, who wait until people are filled with fear, beaten down, vulnerable or unknowledgable - and then they throw the power of sugg...

There is a reason why you are asked in court to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. It is because most of the time that is not what people do. Everyone lies sometime. There are many reasons to lie. Sometimes it is to not hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes a lie is for our own advantage. Some people lie in conducting business and in their personal lives. Most adults are aware of when they lie. Young children sometimes have problems telling fantasy from reality. When a 3-year-old insists that he flew to Mars this morning, he may not be lying on purpose. He may not even be aware that it is a lie. Children with good imaginations often take longer to learn what a lie really is. It is important to work with children to teach them about fantasy and reality, instead of punishing them for these kinds of beliefs. A pathological liar believes in the lies, at least at the time that she or he is talking. Their stories tend to be very dramatic. They often portray the ...

Beyond therapy: Some evil can't be cured by Norman Doidge What, other than our wish that it be otherwise, makes us think that every human vice is treatable by some form of psychotherapy? That this wish is not just naive, but, at times, harmful is illustrated by a recent Canadian study on group treatment for 238 sex offenders (rapists, incest offenders) from Warkworth penitentiary in Ontario. These prisoners included some well-documented psychopaths. All were taught to "empathize" with victims, and understand their "offence cycle" as part of treatment. After their release, it was found that those who had scored highest in terms of "good treatment behaviour" and who had the highest "empathy" scores were the more likely to reoffend on release into the community. Hannibal Lecter Charm School teaches good manners, but not morals. The important study by Seto and Barbaree replicated -- unintentionally -- a 1992 Canadian study that found treated ...

Mary Jo Buttafuoco's New Book Aims to Help Others Living With 'Sociopaths' By LEE FERRAN Seventeen years after she was shot in the face by her then husband's teenage lover, Mary Jo Buttafuoco called her ex-husband Joey Buttafuoco a "sociopath and a liar." "I believed him when he said he had nothing to do with her [shooter Amy Fisher]," Mary Jo told "Good Morning America" today in an exclusive interview. "He was a very good sociopath and a liar. ...When I thought about it and looked it up on the Internet, and looked at sociopathic tendencies ... I said 'Oh my God.'" Joey filled all the criteria, she said. In May 1992, Mary Jo Buttafuoco answered her front door at her Long Island home to see 16-year-old Amy Fisher point a gun at her face and fire. Fisher had been having an affair with Mary Jo's husband, Joey, who was more than twice Fisher's age. Mary Jo Buttafuoco miraculously survived the close range shot...

by the late, forever great Kathy Krajco It's easy to take an honest look at someone you have something against. And though i have no time for blaming the victim, those of us who have been victimized by narcissists must take an honest look at ourselves. Why is it so hard to face facts? Why do we remain in denial so long, and thus play the fool? People on the outside are flabbergasted by the abuse the victim takes. But it is really very easy to understand. To face facts, one fact you must face is that you mean nothing to the narcissist. Zip, zero, zilch, nada. You are nothing but a punching bag. A thing, an object he (ab)uses to make himself feel good. If he breaks you, that's nothing because you are just an object to a narcissist or psychopath. That's humiliating. Who wants to admit that they are worth nothing to someone so precious to them? It's a spear right through the heart. And stupid conventional thinking views value backwards. True, if a thing is a commodity for e...

The story that broke last year about the father, Fritzl, who imprisoned his daughter in a basement dunegon for 24 years and she had 7 children by him - as well as the sick details of his letting a few of those children upstairs - got my attention. I can't shake the horror of a father actually treating his own child in this way. I had a wonderful father. He had his flaws but inside he was a wonderful man who would never exploit anyone or hurt a fly. However, my other parent - was pathologically disordered. And my father (of blessed memory), my brother and myself were all changed forever from it. Wrapping our heads around these people there's only one explanation: Psychopathy aka Sociopathy. No empathy and maybe even no soul. The bad thing is guys like the above and scum like Scott Peterson, Osama binLaden and Honor Murderers make news. But, there are hundreds & thousands of them who may be next to you at the check out or in the cubicle next to you. Subcriminal who ...