BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Being diagnosed with a chronic disability can be very devastating. I'm not throwing a pity-party here, just sharing some insight. I went through every single one of the stages in this article and sometimes I back up and do them again. With the return of hot weather, I have been in terrible flare. I read JOB a lot and his bargaining and arguing with Hashem. I relate. I hate being like this. HATE IT. There is no relation between the me I am now and the person I was. My own children will never know the person I was. I grieve that a lot. One of my own late parents (who was pathologically disordered) told my ex-husband to "leave me" because I was "useless to him" now. It took me years to give away the power suits I wore to work or auditions. Now, I have thrown myself into motherhood - the best I can - the way I threw myself into work projects. Being disabled means you are part of an underclass that is neither to be seen or heard. Maybe because we invi...

When you are told you have cancer, the diagnosis affects not only you, but also your family and friends. You may feel scared, uncertain, or angry about the unwanted changes cancer will bring to your life and theirs. You may feel numb or confused. You may have trouble listening to, understanding, or remembering what people tell you during this time. This is especially true when your doctor first tells you that you have cancer. It is not uncommon for people to shut down mentally once they hear the word "cancer." There is nothing fair about cancer and no one "deserves" to have it. A cancer diagnosis is hard to take and having cancer is not easy. When you find out you have cancer, your personal beliefs and experiences help you figure out what the diagnosis means to you and how you will handle it. As you face your own mortality and cope with the many demands of cancer, you may look more closely at your religious beliefs, your personal and family values, and what's mo...

Origins of Chronic and Debilitating Pain Remain Unclear for Many Sufferers By DAN CHILDS Cynthia Toussaint was a ballerina. She was no stranger to the aches, pains and occasional injuries that came with the trade. So when the pain from an injury to a right hamstring wouldn't subside, Toussaint, then 21, did what she could to endure it. After all, she had auditions to attend -- in particular, a promising role in the musical Fame. When the burning, unrelenting pain was too much to bear, however, she sought a doctor's opinion. "I was told that I wouldn't dance for eight weeks and I thought, 'No, they're wrong,'" she recalls. But the pain would last for much longer than eight weeks. For months it persisted. A year and a half after the pain in her right leg started, she began to experience a similar pain in her left leg. Six and a half years after that, the pain had spread to both arms. The spread of her condition was not always so gradual. One morning, she...

This was, and is - one of the hardest things for me. Accepting my diagnosis. That this is it for me. Forever. I realize I have only vague memories of the person I was 12 years ago. Before the daily, intractable pain moved into my life. Before the daily low grade fevers came along. Before the only people I saw regularly were my doctors & their nurses. Before I was on a first name basis with staff at three area hospitals. Before I learned to self-inject with anti-virals. Before I found walking to be sometimes excruciating. Before I spent 98% of my time at home, usually in bed. Before my body said no. Before my mind became vulnerable due to depression caused by pain. Before I became useless. I still want to do things that matter, that help others, that put me back on the right path, that empower my children & those around me, that honor Hashem. Hopefully, I am. ACCEPTANCE OF MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS Denial serves a wonderful psychological purpose. Thus the “NO!! ” when someone gets t...