BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Many professedly religious communities, Catholics, Jews and Evangelicals - often close ranks around an abuser. Sexual abuser, harrasser, misogynist, wife beater, verbal abuser, exploiter of the vulnerable, etc. This is wrong . It invalidates victims and their families causing untold psychological harm. When the victims speak out they are called LIARS and their stories are minimized by powerful and duplicitous people. Silence about a wrong is COMPLICITY in my book. When you don't speak out about something that's very wrong - you are not being polite, avoiding Lashon Hara or 'minding your own business' - you are being a lemming and enabling more abuse. - Barbara Here's one of my all time favorite quotes: "Powerful and sneaky people use apologies as end runs around repentance. They betray a trust; and, when they have been found out, they say they are sorry for "mistakes in judgment"... They get by only because we have lost our sense of the differenc...

...for mentioning my abuse victim's advocacy blog and this blog. Carnival Against Sexual Violence 63 very thought provoking and enlightening articles, as always. Kudos to you Marcella !

"THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN LIFE WE JUST KNOW ARE TRUE" I love Mariska Hargitay on LAW & ORDER: SVU. She's a wonderful actress who's able to get across a lot of subtleties. As a former actress myself, its not easy to show inner conflict without looking like you are needlessly chewing the scenery. But Hargitay pulls it off. Beautifully. I also have a tremendous amount of respect for her using her celebrity to help end sexual violence and assist exploited women in their quest for healing. Her character on SVU, Olivia Benson, is a child of rape. A tough spot for any one to be in and a clue that her character's job may be a way of working out her inner demons about her origins. I understand this personally as a survivor. I know I will never ever again be able to trust my 'gut' or trust that I know a good person from a bad. When you are raised believing that abuse is o.k., its impossible to ever really know when you're being exploited. Even after...

Today is Blog Against Sexual Violence Day and I found this gem. Get out your barf bags. At Halliburton/KBR, sexual assault is just part of the workplace experience for women by Lisa Takeuchi Cullen Like many viewers, I watched this ABC 20/20 report when it first aired in December with jaws-open, eyes-bugging horror. It told the story of two women workers for Halliburton/KBR who had been sent to Iraq. There, one, Jamie Lee Jones, a young computer tech, was gang-raped on her fourth day by coworkers after being drugged; the other, Tracy Barker, was sexually assaulted by a State Department employee. Both immediately reported their assaults, only to have KBR first lock them in isolation, then question their accusations. In the case of Jones, it even "lost" the medical report that documented evidence of gang rape. Here, then, is the update, posted this week on ABCNews.com. It ain't pretty. A mother of five who says she was sexually harassed and assaulted while working for ...

As a survivor of sexual, emotional & psychological abuse - I am posting this in the hopes that everyone will read and forward to their Rabbis - Thank you. Barbara Message from The Awareness Center: CALL TO ACTION: Request to all Rabbis on behalf of Sexual Violence Awareness Month Please forward the following message to every rabbi you know! Each week many of our rabbis send out weekly messages and prayers to their congregants. Considering April is Sexual Violence Awareness Month and also a month that represents freedom to the Jewish people, The Awareness Center is asking that all rabbis to send messages of healing, empowerment and growth to those who are who are suffering the life long effects of surviving sexual violence. All survivors of sex crimes are veterans of a war. The messages sent out should be about honoring survivors as if they were hero's of a horrendous war battle. The only true victims are those who lost their lives as a results of the wounds inflicted upon them...

On the national A Day To End Sexual Violence scheduled for Thursday April 3rd, 2008 as part of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Marcella Chester will, for the second year in a row, be coordinating a Blog Against Sexual Violence (BASV) event . The goal is to get as many bloggers as we can to participate. Last year we had 79 participants. I would love to see the number of participants reach the triple digits this year. That's where you can help. Keep reading to learn how. The 2008 Sexual Assault Awareness Month campaign national slogan for this April is: Prevent Sexual Violence… in our Workplaces. This is an important area which often gets neglected until a report of rape by a coworker ends with murder or gang rape becomes a matter for employment arbitration. Often in the workplace, it is the person targeted for sexual violence who is expected to give up everything if their workplace becomes sexually hostile. If you plan to participate in the Blog Against Sexual Violence event on Thur...

SHOOTING THE MESSENGERS Cross posted on behalf The Awareness Center : CALL TO ACTION: Marvin Schick, New York Jewish Week and Sexual Violence Please read the information below and send a note to Marvin Schick and the Jewish Week: Marvin Schick lacks the information and education needed to be making any sort of public statement regarding the issue of sexual violence in Jewish communities. Unfortunately, the Jewish Week gave permission for Schick to have a voice to promote inaccuracies to the Jewish world. It's time we demand that Jewish newspapers only publish information and articles on the topic of sexual violence from those who have the appropriate credentials of being experts in the field of sexual violence -- and not those who just who can afford to pay for full page ads, as in the case of Marvin Schick. In Schtick's article he attacks Rachel Yehuda, who is one of the foremost researchers in the trauma field. We all should be asking Marvin Schick to show us his resume so t...

ONE YEAR BLOGAVERSARY The Carnival Against Sexual Violence #24 is up. And it's one year since Marcella Chester started this important Blog Carnival. This blog is mentioned as well as loads of other good posts regarding this issue. Take a moment to read and pass on ! (Congrats Marcella!!) Thank you!

BRAUNSTEIN'S TRIFECTA: ANGRY, VINDICTIVE or MENTALLY ILL The Virginia Tech massacre is not that far behind us - we still worry about the stigma of those with mental health issues and how to deal with its sufferers in an equitable fashion. My latest trial fixation was on the Peter Braunstein case. Braunstein's defense made the age old 'but he was mentally ill and no responsible' plea. They even went so far as to try to paint his ex-girlfriend as a sexual temptress who drove him to it. (how many times do ex boyfriends try this one on a much smaller scale everyday?) Baruch Hashem the jury saw through that in uner 4 hours. Braunstein is obviously mentally ill but there is a legal element distinguishing what he did from that of a deranged person - he was calculating. He assaulted & raped a woman, set up a situation to have her let him into her house to do so, and then ran from NYC going to hotels, flophouses and see hookers along the way only to end the chase with a...

Israel proposes Gaza buffer I am disappointed but not surprised that once again, Israel is blamed for this. Personally I think they need to take a stronger tact against this. The PA torpedoed any hope for truce or peace a long time ago; if it was every truly possible. But negotiating with murderers is not the way to do things. By LAURIE COPANS Israel's army has developed a plan to create a "buffer zone" inside the edge of the Gaza Strip to halt the latest wave of Palestinian rocket attacks, military officials said Tuesday. Such Israeli action would likely torpedo a six-month truce in the Gaza Strip and could threaten U.S. efforts to revive the Israeli-Palestinian peace process. Meanwhile, Israel's Prime Minister Ehud Olmert will travel to Jordan on May 15 to meet with King Abdullah, the prime minister's office said Tuesday. Olmert and the king will meet in the ancient city of Petra on the sidelines of an annual gathering in Jordan of Nobel Prize laureates. In a...

BLOG AGAINST SEXUAL VIOLENCE APRIL 5, 2007 SEXUAL VIOLENCE & POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER I consider myself a survivor of sexual violence from a number of incidences in my life. My doctors and therapists do too. At times the sexual violence was emotional or psychological in nature - but it has powerfully affected my views of myself as a woman and as a person. It shredded myself esteem. It is something I struggle with now, every single day of my life. As the mother of daughters I hope I can teach them to love themselves enough and know that my love for them is unconditional, so they do not fall prey to the traps set by those who use & exploit women. PTSD and Relationships: Trauma survivors with PTSD often experience problems in their intimate and family relationships or close friendships. PTSD involves symptoms that interfere with trust, emotional closeness, communication, responsible assertiveness, and effective problem solving: Loss of interest in social or sexual activit...