BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Mother's Day, for me, is filled with a conflicting thoughts & feelings. Party because I struggled over 12 years with almost intractable infertility issues. My own mother had a personality disorder whose negative aspects were focused on me. I never told her I was an infertility patient. I couldn't, it would have brought with it a lot more verbal abuse than I was already taking for simply being alive. Once I finally did have children I realized I would never feel "normal" - I would always be infertile because I could not do easily what most other women do. One thing she said to me a great deal was " you owe me ." Over and over I was reminded that I 'owed her' for working to provide a home for myself & my sibling, raising me and most of all: for having me in the first place. Especially since I was a " freak, a loser, ugly " and " no man would ever want " me. So it was to her tremendous shock when she had this convers...

by Yaffa Ganz Reprinted with permission from “THE JEWISH FACT FINDER” Important Torah Facts and Handy Jewish Information. Feldheim Publishers. Here are 13 character traits for a human being to focus on to better himself, as suggested by Rabbi Yisrael of Salant, the founder of a Jewish self-improvement program called the “Mussar movement.” 1) TRUTHFULNESS [EMET] Be truthful in all you say. 2) QUICKNESS [ZERIZUT] All that you have to do, do without wasting time. 3) DILIGENCE [CHARITZUT] Do all that you are supposed to do conscientiously. 4) RESPECT [KAVOD] Be extremely careful with the honor and feelings of others. 5) TRANQUILLITY [MENUCHA] Do everything quietly, without undue confusion or excitement. 6) GENTLENESS [NACHAT] The words of the wise are spoken softly and peacefully. 7) CLEANLINESS AND PURITY [NIKAYON] Keep your body and your clothing clean and pure. 8) PATIENCE [SAVLANUT] Whatever happens in life, be patient. 9) ORDER [SEDER] Do everything in an orderly and discipli...

Open Heart Spiritual teachers have always pointed to the heart as the seat of consciousness, and recently Western science has found evidence to support this realization. It turns out that the heart has its own central nervous system and is not simply under the rule of the brain as formerly believed. Anyone who has taken the time to explore the heart knows this and, more important, has realized that the heart is the source of our connection to a consciousness greater than the ego. Approaching life with an open heart means that we have opened the door to this greater consciousness, taking up residence alongside it in the seat of our soul. Fortunately, at this time there is a lot of support for this shift energetically as well as practically. To some degree, approaching life with an open heart is as simple as shifting your attention onto your heart. Eventually you will be able do this any time, any place, but at first it may help to try it in a quiet place where you won't be disturb...

Infinite Patience Rectifying Oneself; Rectifying Others It is indeed a great achievement to reach the genuineness to be able to discuss one's shortcomings frankly with his partner. But one must still take care to apply this objectivity only to his own lackings and problems, enlisting his partner's aid and support in rectifying them through prayer and self-refinement. With regard to judging (or condemning) the apparent shortcomings and misdeeds of an other, our sages have said, "Do not judge your fellow until you have reached his place" (Avot 2:4). Chassidut explains that since one can never really reach an other's "place," never fully understand the motivations (the "why," whether conscious or unconscious) behind his behavior, he is unable to judge him (Sefat Emet). Nonetheless, "until you have reached his place" implies that one should try to understand his fellow as best he can, to draw himself as close to his fellow's "pla...