BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

About a week ago a friend of mine told me she was diagnosed with cancer. In my shock, with my brain going 1000mph - I did the all-to-human thing of putting my foot in my mouth. I tried three times to apologize. She told me never to speak to her again. I didn't feel like hearing any more verbal assaults dissecting my 'motives' for putting my foot in my mouth, so it was mutual. She and I had been through a very traumatic experience together at one time so that was always hanging between us. She crossed over today. I hope wherever she is - she knows how deeply sad I am and that I will always care about her. I hope she knows peace, fulfillment and joy of Hashem's presence. The 17th day in the Jewish month of Tammuz, Jews the world over fast and lament to commemorate the many calamities that have befallen our people on this ominous day. The purpose of such fasts in the Jewish calendar is, according to Rabbi Eliyahu Kitov's Book of Our Heritage, "to awaken hearts...

By Patricia Lefave, Labelled, D.D.(P). The only thing needed to create a scapegoat's distressed reaction is the act of an aggressor with a hidden agenda of domination. If he/she can covertly manipulate a group of people to accept the reality of the situation between him/her and his/her victim as the opposite, and keep the group convinced of it long enough to create enough chaos and pressure to completely confuse the victim, then the result is predictable. The victim's ego structure may well start to break down under the enormous, unrelenting stress, coupled with the inability to either resolve the problem, or escape from the situation. Once the victim has been ''successfully'' invalidated by the abuser and the group that supports and enables him or her, nothing the victim thinks, says, feels or does will be heard as straightforward communication ever again. It will then be heard through the ''interpretive'' filter of the group's beliefs about...

WHITE FLAG Dido I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, I'll tell you that. But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it where's the sense in that? I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder Or return to where we were I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again And I caused but nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again And if you live by the rules of "it's over" then I'm sure that that makes sense And when we meet Which I'm sure we will All that was then Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on.... Well I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be