BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

CAUTION ADVISED WHEN MAKING FANTASY TAPES! When I read this I was stunned. I really thought I was old enough and had been through enough that nothing would shock me. But some things still do. First this guy was a Judge. A judge who presided over divorces and child custody. The things you hear in those kinds of cases are pretty raw stuff. Second, I strong suspect this judge is a narcissistic sex addict. The bottom article should illuminate exactly why I think that. But this statement in the first article below was a huge clue: Hagler was relaxed and smiling at times during Wednesday's hearing. He said during a break that he had not heard the tape in the hands of police and could not be sure it was the one he recorded. "I hope it's my voice," he said. Always a huge red flag when someone is that flip, glib and denying with such bravado. A really ginormous red flag. We all have our private fantasies and sexual preferences. Fair enough. I have no desire to know abo...

BLAME AND THE BBC This is a must read! I took it from the brilliant Kathy Krajco 's site on my pet subject, Narcissism. I use many of her articles in my advocacy for abuse victim's work. This article starts with the BBC's media bullpocky but broadens its reach to so many political & personal areas... well, as I said, I consider it required reading. With Yom Kippur and forgiveness being talked about this time of year I felt this article on BLAME was brilliant and brutally honest. Blaming the victim has become so much a part of our society. Almost no one wants to take responsibility for the horrible things they do to others, it seems. And I, for one, am sick of it. To quote Carey from SEX & THE CITY : "Can we really forgive if we can't forget?" My answer? If the person(s) who harmed you doesn't take the time & energy make amends and shifts blame to you, in a word: NO . Teaching Children to Blame the Victim by Kathy Krajco Via Biased BBC...

HEZBOLLAH CRIES VICTIM - BUT THEY ARE THE ABUSERS One thing I have come to understand in the last 2 1/2 years I have been doing Domestic Violence advocacy work is how abusers operate and think. One thing they do is create their own "reality" and heaven help you if you know the truth or have the 'goods' on them. The first thing they do if you know them for who they really are - is blame shift and project: "it's their fault too", "they are abusing me", "they did it too", "never happened" and one of the all time favorites - "No, I AM THE VICTIM HERE." And that's what Hezbollah and their ilk are doing. Crying victim. Putting up a poster to say "we did this because Israel hates us and we HAD to do it." And the more Israel digs in its heels (just like victims in every day life) and refuses to buy the bull and stand its ground - the more Hezbollah will escalate. The Condis, Pelosis and U.N. naysayers o...