BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by Kathy Krajco The victims of narcissists are relentlessly re-victimized by a rationale for blaming the victim called co-dependence. I am still waiting for some evidence or explanation to persuade me that there is such a thing, so I’m still open to the idea. But, sorry, I haven’t heard a single reason to think that there even is such a thing as co-dependence. So, I am very skeptical. I’ll share my reasons for that skepticism, not so much to persuade you as to give you reason for pause, some food for thought. Reason 1 I trust science, including medical science. But not blindly. I know science and have seen enough bad science to have no illusions about the integrity of scientists and doctors. I know that they are just people, as capable of dishonesty as any other people, that they herd, gaining up in groupthink. They mocked Louis Pasteur. They predicted the end of the world by now due to population explosion. They ignored the evidence in favor of a low carbohydrate diet for decades, til...

By Marylou Barry Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would have accepted it from anyone, even if you knew that person placed absolutely no value on you, your family, your future, or your right to go on living? That's exactly what hundreds of single people are doing right now in Gaza, the southern coastal region of Israel that was ethnically cleansed of Jews and surrendered to Islamic terrorists by the Ariel Sharon administration four years ago. According to the Associated Press article "Hamas gets into matchmaking biz," Hamas's Tayseer Association for Marriage and Development in Gaza is now in the profession of introducing men and women seeking marriage partners. Tayseer, which handles the more mundane functions of the Hamas political/military outfit that runs Gaza, bills itself as the "humanitarian" arm of that terror organization – quite a turnabout for hoodlums whose only accomplishments to date consist of robbery, rape, kidnapping, murder an...

WHO'S SORRY NOW? I am a big believer in sincere apologies. Not the "I'm sorry" and then making yourself scarce so you never have to interact with the other person again. No, I mean RESTORATIVE JUSTICE . I've seen it in my anti DV-work. Abusers who make have done physical or emotional harm to a victim, looking them up after jail time or an 18 month batterer program and apologizing. Not asking them to get back together but forging a friendship with them. Even apologizing to their family. I have seen a couple enter into Bible study together. Sometimes one or both has a new relationship but they make something new out of it. And this forgiveness and restoration of peace & friendship has a ripple effect on everyone and everything around them. It's tough but its truly beautiful. Judaism says you have to try to apologize sincerely three times. I will do 1,000 when I know I am in the wrong. And of course there's Teshuva as well. However, I am SIC...

BLAME AND THE BBC This is a must read! I took it from the brilliant Kathy Krajco 's site on my pet subject, Narcissism. I use many of her articles in my advocacy for abuse victim's work. This article starts with the BBC's media bullpocky but broadens its reach to so many political & personal areas... well, as I said, I consider it required reading. With Yom Kippur and forgiveness being talked about this time of year I felt this article on BLAME was brilliant and brutally honest. Blaming the victim has become so much a part of our society. Almost no one wants to take responsibility for the horrible things they do to others, it seems. And I, for one, am sick of it. To quote Carey from SEX & THE CITY : "Can we really forgive if we can't forget?" My answer? If the person(s) who harmed you doesn't take the time & energy make amends and shifts blame to you, in a word: NO . Teaching Children to Blame the Victim by Kathy Krajco Via Biased BBC...

MUST MISS THIS FALL: DHIMMI-TV The longer I am alive, the more I see how Hashem has a reason for everything that happens. I am not quite sure what the reason was today but here's what happened... I woke up in tremendous pain. This is the reason I am considered totally disabled, because flares hit me without warning. I got my child, who is in summer school, ready. By then a mild pain killer had kicked in. I got them to school and came home and went back to bed with a heated "oat bag." My long muscles burn when I am in flare and I only know some relief in sleep. The very second I wake up, I am back in pain. I am grateful that I had someone to pick my child up from school and bring them home. I struggled through making and eating dinner. (Now as my second pain killer is kicking in - I am doing my nightly blogging ritual then back to bed.) The above whinefest was because I had all good intentions of going with 2 friends to the rally today at Dag Hammerskjold Plaza ...

Britain’s war against…well, you know By Melanie Phillips Britain is now fighting a war it dares not name. The recent failed car bomb attacks on a London nightclub and Glasgow airport demonstrated once again that Britain is a principal target for al-Qaeda. But even now, the British response is dangerously confused. After eight people in the medical profession were arrested over these attacks, there was widespread shock that those who cure should also want to kill. This naive and ahistorical reaction demonstrated yet again the extraordinary state of denial about the Islamist jihad. After all, Osama bin Laden’s sidekick, Ayman al-Zawahri, is a doctor. So are other Islamist terrorists, including Mahmoud Zahar, the Hamas strongman in Gaza. But because the deeply empirical British do not understand how religious fanaticism twists the human mind, they tell themselves that Islamic terrorism must be driven by rational grievances such as deprivation, ‘Islamophobia’ or British foreign policy. Man...