BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by A. Valerious When we talk about someone who is in denial we believe what we are discussing is a psychological defense mechanism. To believe that a narcissist is using denial as a defense mechanism is to set yourself up to be manipulated and deceived. We need to examine the tactic of denial as something very different from the psychological defense of denial. Denial as a defense mechanism is how the mind copes emotionally in the fall-out of a catastrophic event, major loss, or with anxiety. The woman who finds herself suddenly widowed may deny for awhile that her husband is dead. Or she may simply feel numb and unable to cry for weeks or months. This is because she can't deal with all the emotions of loss and shock all at once. Denial as a defense is how our minds protect us from overwhelming situations that we aren't equipped at the time to deal with emotionally. This is something very different from denial as a tactic. George K. Simon, "In Sheep's Clothing", p...

You can run, but you can’t hide. —Joe Louis by Roger Melton, M.A., L.M.F.T., CEAP (Retired) The Key to Counter-Control If you possess a strong sense of responsibility, Controllers will use it against you. Understanding how to prevent a Controller from manipulating your conscience is key in learning how to "counter - control." Moral integrity is one of the finest assets a person can possess, but it can attract a Controller the way a "hot target" attracts a cruise missile. When dealing with a Controller, conscientiousness can be your Achilles’ Heel. Integrity and conscientiousness remind Controllers of their most profound character flaw. They hate being reminded of what they do not have. They hate those qualities in others because Controllers cannot possess them. That is one reason that they are attracted to integrity. But their attraction is rooted in a desire to dominate or destroy. They must manipulate, rule or emotionally and psychologically annihilate anyone whos...

Excerpted from HERE "Reasonable men may debate how best to handle a smear campaign launched by a determined adversary. But there are certain basic concepts that must invariably come into play. "For one, you should seldom debate the degree of your own alleged culpability, even if you really are guilty of something wrong.. "And while this is obvious in seeking to project positive images, in general; it is all the more certain, when the alleged culpability is in merely having a different ideological perspective; having a completely defensible point of view--whether or not that view is controversial. "To concede the moral high ground to an unprincipled foe, bent upon reviling you and destroying your reputation, is pure madness. To compromise your position by apologizing for your mistake, will only undermine your base of support. It will never convert a determined foe. Nor should it please anyone devoted to the truth. It has never been immoral in a free society to have a...

If this doesn't scare the pants off you and get you to rethink drinking the NObama Kool-Aid and voting McCain... then I declare you hopeless!! ('no surprise' on the mass exodus of bloggers over to wordpress.com...) Blocked anti-Obama blogs spur Google probe Does Google Inc. violate the same "neutrality" principles that it wants mandated for Internet providers like Comcast Corp.? That's the argument being made by some who accuse the search behemoth of hypocrisy when it comes to free speech on the Internet. Here's the deal: Mountain View, Calif.-based Google recently drew the ire of several authors of anti-Obama blogs, hosted on the company's Blogger platform, whose posting rights were temporarily suspended after Google identified as them "potential spam blogs." "You will not be able to publish posts to your blog until we review your site and confirm that it is not a spam blog ... Sincerely, the Blogger Team," Google said in an e-mai...

Ms. Lefave has a great blog - you can read it here . In her post below, she gives a great view of the difference between privacy & secrecy. Secrecy is NOT Confidentiality, in my view. Secrecy is what you are asked to keep to protect a lie, a cheater, fraud, a con, or the blatant exploitation of something or someone. I learned the hard way - secrecy is not healthy - it is highly TOXIC to the spirit of someone who keeps it. It has strings and conditions. My children tell me their secrets all the time. As their mother and someone who loves them without strings or conditions I keep their secrets. I feel this is CONFIDENTIALITY. In my heart and mind its my ethical and God-given duty to be good to my word with my children and earn the love & respect they consistently show me. The same holds true for doctors, healthcare professionals, clergy and hopefully, lawyers. They all have some sort of moral and ethical duty to their clients, patients, etc. I also hold this same stan...

THE SECRET OF CONTROL TACTICS Doesn't take much to connect abusive behavior (which knows no cultural bounds) to the way Islamofascists treat their women. This terrific post (click here) from Chaim at Freedom's Cost is well worth a read. Then, give the below a look. I only pray some men & women living in supposedly more "civiled" cultures wake up and make amends for their behaviors and work on change soon! The Secret of Control Tactics by Kathy Krajco Here's a bit of serendipity. I created an illustration to show why tennis players try to control the tempo of play. Lo and behold! that illustration has other uses! For example, why did John McEnroe interrupt what by the rules is supposed to be "continuous play" for long periods, so that a match didn't continue until he personally allowed it to? Why do some players even turn and speak to spectators, bossing them around? Telling them where to sit and when they may move? Why do some players pres...