BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by my friend 'Anna Valerious' (another Child of a Narcissistic Parent and blogger extraordinnaire!) ALL of this is easily extrapolated for use on narcissists & sub-criminal psychopaths in all walks of life (not just parents). ...Evil people don't wake up each day deciding which evil deeds to accomplish. They admit to no evil because define themselves and their deeds as good and right. I'm going to explain a little more how they create this alternate reality. It is important you understand how they twist their thinking because you have probably been sucked into believing their insane logic. I am convinced the narcissist senses deep down they are evil. Their whole existence is defined by their efforts to deny this nagging sense. Hence, the universal quality of narcissists to avoid introspection and their profligate use of projection. It is possible, though very rare, for an evil person to admit they are evil. Evil people who admit they are evil tend toward the...

I tripped on this article while helping one of my kids with an over-the summer project. What it fails to do, scientifically - is account for those who SAY they have high morals and ethics or BELIEVE they have high morals and ethics... But their actions prove otherwise! (these are usually personality disordered pathological Cluster Bs... who pass for normal but lie like they breathe.) Hey Barack, Gov. Sanford, John Edwards -- you listening? Oddly, Hypocrisy Rooted in High Morals by Jeanna Bryner Morally upstanding people are the do-gooders of society, right? Actually, a new study finds that a sense of moral superiority can lead to unethical acts, such as cheating. In fact, some of the best do-gooders can become the worst cheats. Stop us if this sounds familiar. When asked to describe themselves, most people typically will rattle off a list of physical features and activities (for example, "I do yoga" or "I'm a paralegal"). But some people have what scientists c...

by Kathy Krajco I have a question for anyone out there who can answer it. I would like to know why therapists - yes, therapists, not just preachers - think that a victimized person must forgive in order to heal. To keep things from getting all fogged up, we must be clear on what we mean by forgiveness. The word has a definite meaning: it is forgiving a portion of the debt incurred by the offender as your ante in a mutual act of reconciliation. But the word is suffering a terrible bout of bastardization these days, having the guts torn out of it by being used as vague codeword for somehow managing to "stop hungering and thirsting for justice," for somehow "erasing your anger." Woops, I forgot. Justice sounds too good in this context, I must call it revenge instead. But, anyway, please be sure to identify which kind of forgiveness you mean if you explain why therapists instruct their patients to forgive. A couple related questions, just to make sure we all heal good....

IS SOMEONE TRYING TO ETHICALLY OR UNETHICALLY INFLUENCE YOU? CHECK OUT THE INFLUENCE CONTINUUM The following Influence Continuum shows you the method and modes of various influence techniques as a continuum. You will find the various descending techniques for that section. At the top of the Influence Continuum you will find choice respecting tactics that are educative and therapeutic and have their emphasis on the message. In the middle you will find compliance gaining techniques that are persuasive and manipulative and have their emphasis on gaining a response. At the bottom of the continuum you will find destructive controlling techniques designed to isolate you from normal social supports and reality testing. As your review the continuum try to remember people or organizations (friends, bosses, teachers, family, corporate tactics, etc.) you liked and disliked that have been applied to you fromthe various sections of the influence continuum. This is a powerful quick tool to help you...

BOTH NEW & YOUNG REFORM JEWS ARE MORE OBSERVANT Sue Fishkoff A new online survey of the most active Reform Jews reveals a younger generation that is more comfortable with Jewish ritual than their elders but just as committed to communal causes and improving the world. The increased ritual observance comes despite the fact that 19 percent of the under-40 group surveyed grew up in intermarried homes. Reform leaders say that proves their position that intermarriage in itself is not a deterrent to Jewish identity, but that Jewish upbringing is a more important factor. In addition to increasing ritual observance, the younger Reform Jews showed a strong commitment to communal and ethical priorities. More than 95 percent of both the under-40 and over-40 crowd said “leading an ethical life,” “making the world a better place” and “celebrating Jewish holidays” were important parts of being Jewish. And similar numbers of both groups -- about 80 percent -- said remembering the Holocaust, carin...

SMELLS LIKE ISLAMOFASCIST TWEEN SPIRIT Today was a big "birthdayS" day. My kids became tweens. Something they have both been salivating over for a year now. They have had their first crushes ( one of them still does ) and now they are dealing with bullies, changing bodies and conflicting feelings. There's still some legal wrangling their father is doing with me so that is hard too. We are all doing our best to cope and I am pouring on the unconditional love, understanding and healthy boundaries. I am so deeply proud of them. They are so individual, sweet, empathic and smart. Both of them have a best friend that they talk with. Both have asked for cellphones (the answer is still NO this year). Despite her ADD, one of my children is really working hard at school this year. The other looks to be headed for honors classes, between her subscription to American Girl and peering out her new telescope into the heavens, she's productive and on the honor roll consiste...

JUDAISM AND THE ENVIRONMENT by Rabbi Yossi Ives As a boy of six I was walking to shul with my father one morning and I unthinkingly tore some leaves off the hedge we were passing. In disapproval my father told me the Chassidic tale of Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitch. As a young boy he carelessly ripped a leaf of a tree and was told by his father that God had his intention for that leaf and he was not to damage it unnecessarily. The Torah proscribes wanton destruction even at a time of war (Deut. 20:19). Rabbi Aaron Halevi of Barcelona writes, This is the way of the devout and those who seek good deeds... they never destroy even a grain of mustard, and are upset at any destruction they see, (Sefer haChinuch, 529). Scriptural writings are full of natural imagery and are steeped in respect for nature, while biblical and later rabbinic law provide comprehensive legislation on issues such as conservation, animal welfare, species preservation, sanitation and pollution. The Torah orders the...

The brain scan that can read people's intentions Call for ethical debate over possible use of new technology in interrogation Ian Sample, science correspondent -- The Guardian A team of world-leading neuroscientists has developed a powerful technique that allows them to look deep inside a person's brain and read their intentions before they act. The research breaks controversial new ground in scientists' ability to probe people's minds and eavesdrop on their thoughts, and raises serious ethical issues over how brain-reading technology may be used in the future. The team used high-resolution brain scans to identify patterns of activity before translating them into meaningful thoughts, revealing what a person planned to do in the near future. It is the first time scientists have succeeded in reading intentions in this way. "Using the scanner, we could look around the brain for this information and read out something that from the outside there's no way you could ...