BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by Kathy Krajco The victims of narcissists are relentlessly re-victimized by a rationale for blaming the victim called co-dependence. I am still waiting for some evidence or explanation to persuade me that there is such a thing, so I’m still open to the idea. But, sorry, I haven’t heard a single reason to think that there even is such a thing as co-dependence. So, I am very skeptical. I’ll share my reasons for that skepticism, not so much to persuade you as to give you reason for pause, some food for thought. Reason 1 I trust science, including medical science. But not blindly. I know science and have seen enough bad science to have no illusions about the integrity of scientists and doctors. I know that they are just people, as capable of dishonesty as any other people, that they herd, gaining up in groupthink. They mocked Louis Pasteur. They predicted the end of the world by now due to population explosion. They ignored the evidence in favor of a low carbohydrate diet for decades, til...

Inside the doors are sealed to love Inside my heart is sleeping Inside the fingers of my glove Inside the bones of my right hand Inside it's colder than the stars Inside the dogs are weeping Inside the circus of the wind Inside the clocks are filled with sand Inside he'll never hurt me Inside the winter's creeping Inside the compass of the night Inside the folding of the land Outside the stars are turning Outside the world's still burning* I was lucky enough to get on the waiting list for a copy of STALKING THE SOUL: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity about 4 years ago. I had to wait until a copy could be found because it was out of print then. Personally, it was one of the most galvanizing things I have read. It didn't just take a clinical look at what emotional abuse does to someone on the surface. It talked a great deal about the erosion of the spirit. The shredding of self that someone, like myself, who is a long term victim, experiences. Even tou...

Hamas, Hezbollah, Islamofascists, The Religious Right, The Obama Administration or that person who harasses or harangues you offline or on. Bullies follow a pattern. A pattern that is a form of a personality disorder, of which the worst form is sociopathy. Sociopaths have no guilt, no shame, no empathy, nothing. They will stick by their closest friends and family (they have to because they need sycophants to bail them out all the time) and have no compassion for those they hurt. They only play-act as if they have human emotions (learned by watching others) because they can't feel. They don't have an anger problem - their problem is with YOUR anger. Heaven forbid you should be hurt or angry. If a sociopath raped someone, he'd be mad that she sought medical and legal attention. If a sociopath stole something, she'd be angry you called the police or even had the temerity to ask for your things back. If a sociopath hit you with their car, they'd be angry you rep...

by Kathy Krajco I am death on people telling the victim that it's a sin to fight back. They are pressuring the victim to do the very thing that causes victims to suffer terrible shame in the aftermath of abuse -- give themselves up to it. That shame we feel at doing so is an infallible indicator that it's wrong. No one needs a book or a preacher to tell them what's right and wrong. We KNOW that's wrong. Deep down inside we feel how wrong it is to give ourselves up to abuse. Doing so makes us feel like a worm. A doormat. We know it's lack of backbone. We sense the prostitution in it. We feel utterly degraded by it. The only excuse for it is being subjected to overwhelming force so that we haven't the power to resist. Which is rape. Which is why we feel deeply violated by it. Whether it's sexual rape or any other kind. So, we know that we must resist when we can. If only for the sake of our self respect. And anyone who tells us that we shouldn't fight the ...