BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Any of my readers know I am against blanket forgiveness. Forgiveness without the repentance of the person who hurt you - or you repenting to those you've hurt - is nothing. It's a "get out of jail free" card that will do nothing to heal the emotional, spiritual and psychological rift. It's bullpocky that I reject completely. Though your anger at someone else - does start to eat at your very soul. When I am completely disgusted & disappointed in someone - eventually I feel nothing. They become dead to me. Or, like my ex, his abuse numbed me to the point of feeling nothing but cordiality towards him. And a desire to work with him as politely as I could for the welfare of our children. But nothing else. No desire for revenge. Not hate or anger... just indifference. I abhor any ahavah ha-t'luyah b'davar : "love that is conditional." This is love that treats the other person or you, as an object. True love is unconditional because the oth...

from: Michele Toomey, PhD Violating Anger Has a twist Manipulates the truth Has a hidden agenda Attacks to hurt Blames and proves "guilt" Is a weapon Seeks to discredit the other as a person Has no accountability Hides behind innocence Is righteously superior Assumes another's motives Needs a villain Refuses to claim anything Seeks to punish Uses information to make a case against the other Fears exposure Leads to abuse Alienates and violates Liberating Anger Is straight Seeks the relief of honest self-expression Wants to discover the truth Expresses the hurt and anger Confronts Is a tool Seeks to expose Demands accountability Chooses not to hide Is adamant Never assumes motives Rejects villains Claims its part Determines consequences for itself Uses information for clarity/understanding Values exposure Leads to intimacy Liberates Because anger has such force and potential for violence, it needs to be treated with great discipline and respect. Uncontrolled anger is danger...

From this great blog! Bookmark this one! by Paul Campos Even by the remarkably mendacious standards of the "obesity" racket some of the claims in this story are beyond belief. The most laughable is the idea that by 2048 everybody in the US will be "overweight" or "obese." This result was derived via statistical extrapolation, the crack cocaine of social science analysis (by similar methods one could prove that within a few generations Olympic sprinters will be running at speeds that will hurl them into low Earth orbit and everyone in America will have a plasma TV seventeen miles wide). In fact there has been no weight gain at all over the past 30 years in the thinnest quartile of the population -- whatever (poorly understood) factors have caused Americans to weigh more on average now than they did in the 1970s have had very different impacts across the weight spectrum: thin people have gained no weight, people in the middle weigh 10-15 pounds than they d...

Sarcasm has its place but I have never cared for a lot of it. To me, its a form of verbal attack. Often a very sarcastic person uses their sarcasm to cover inner anger & rage. Or a misplaced sense of superiority Maybe its at the person(s) or thing(s) they are commenting on - maybe its anger transferred from something else in their life. In short, I feel its often nasty & done purposely. It can be very humiliating to be the receiver or to even hear it said about other people or things. I've heard people who are very sarcastic say they consider themselves "funny & humorous." Sorry, I don't. I use sarcasm occasionally myself but I prefer irony or humor to get my point across - Sarcasm isn't always funny - its sometimes a form of hate speech. For those of us striving to be more ethical to everyone - here's a little quiz: By Avis Yarbrough The dictionary defines sarcasm as a cutting or contemptuous remark. If you are one of those people who consid...

This study doesn't surprise me at all. There are far too many smart, independent, college-educated women in the workforce and public life these days for this not to be the case. Bullies always threaten what scares them. Usually its someone who is more competent, perhaps perceived as being smarter, and even people whistleblowers. And when you can't find some character flaw to pick on - pick on their gender. Bullies also hate truth tellers. Truth tellers must be eliminated, defamed and silenced at all cost! When I was working I had this happen to me more times than I could count. I would end up working for someone (sometimes another woman) when it became apparent they weren't as intelligent or intuitive as me. And if I tried to better my position, they'd pick on me as a woman. I've been called a lesbian, a castrator, a man-hater, overwrought female, and asked if I 'had PMS' because of a management decision someone else didn't agree with. I am going...

In light of the D.C. Holocaust Museum shooting, it seemed appropriate to re-post this one: By Joe Conason If right-wing broadcasters don't want to be blamed when someone murders a person they have demonized repeatedly -- as in the case of George Tiller, the doctor shot dead in his Wichita, Kan., church last Sunday by an anti-abortion zealot -- then they ought to moderate their rhetoric. No doubt they will choose their words more carefully for a while, and they will whine piteously about anyone who calls attention to their screaming extremism. This familiar cycle of shaming and blaming, which often follows incidents like the Tiller killing, may well be pointless. By now, it should be obvious that nothing, not even a murder in a church, will mute the most aggressive and irrational voices in politics and the media, as they attract high ratings and consistent donations. Yet there is one response to this crime that might make a difference in the future. Although an overwhelming majority...

Yet FauxBama still wants Gitmo detainees released into the U.S. population. Let us pray. The four men were ex-convicts who envisioned themselves as holy warriors, ambitious enough to concoct a plot to blow up synagogues and military planes, authorities said. But they were amateurs every step of the way. They had trouble finding guns and bought cameras at Wal-Mart to photograph their targets. One was a convicted purse snatcher, another smoked marijuana the day the plot was to be carried out. Muslims fueled by hatred of America and Jews, they spent months scouting targets and securing what they thought was a surface-to-air missile system and powerful explosives — all under the watch of an FBI informant. The four were arrested late Wednesday outside a synagogue in the Bronx, following a long line of homegrown, headline-making terror plots since Sept. 11 that never came close to reality because the FBI inserted itself in the earliest stages. The bombs they planted outside two synagogues We...

This is a must read. I am getting sick of it too since 98% of my own serious weight problem HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FOOD I DO or DON'T EAT. There are thousands of women with my problems, thousands whose medication, treatments or surgeries have left their bodies misshapen and many many more who suffer from mental health issues that make them emotional eaters. They are STILL HUMAN BEINGS. They are STILL WOMEN. They HAVE FEELINGS. I am damn sick of the BETTER DEAD THAN FAT attitudes. Gastric Banding can KILL. I have already lost 2 acquaintances from it. Not all of us are ABLE to exercise. NO it's not an excuse - it's the medically verifiable truth. I would LOVE to exercise. I used to be very active. I hate hate hate the pain from my disability and the way I look. I did NOT CHOOSE to look this way. No woman who is obese with PCOS or other issues does. But this is TOO MUCH -- Excerpts from Shapely Prose (see the post for the ad photo... really DISGUSTING!) ...“...

If you think I am a hypocrite for liking Howard Stern when I don't like misogyny - well, then you don't get me ...or Howard. But if you want to think that about me, it's a free country.... However, this is a MUST see about the SHEER STUPIDITY of Obama Voters who may only be voting for him based on his race (he's HALF-WHITE by the way!) Stern Show Interviews Harlem Voters: CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE ABOVE IF YOU'RE ON AN AGGREGATOR If you think Stern is a misogynist well - wait until OBAMA GETS ELECTED!! Then it will be misogyny central! He & his Camp followers have already brought new meaning to the word: CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE ABOVE IF YOU'RE ON AN AGGREGATOR CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE ABOVE IF YOU'RE ON AN AGGREGATOR

It boggles the mind. From 2000-2004 Karl Rove, Darth Cheney, the Bush Crime Family and their merry bands of Flying Monkeys manipulated, fixed and outright stole two elections. Even after all of America watched Dubya go down in flames in the Presidential Debates -- the voting turned sharply and mysteriously in his favor. Now here we are, 2008. Dubya's finally out the door and the Dems, who have been rending their clothes and tearing out their hair, trying to get some parity and fairness in Election Rules and Proceedings... who have been trying to get various Election Boards into court to own up for what that did in the 2000 & 2004 elections... have done the worst thing possible. Not only did they gang-rape the only Democrat I saw who truly was ready, willing and very capable of handling the Presidency; they are stooping lower than the Republicans ever did in the two prior elections. Elie Wiesel tells a wonderfully haunting story of how he almost became what he hated. He spent ...

From Hillary or Bust: With the latest Sarah Palin hatefest happening among female comics (Sandra Bernhard wants Palin to be raped by a gang of black men; a confused Margaret Cho hates her but wants to have sex with her) , I have had it. Listen to me, crazy liberal Palin-hatin’ women, and listen to me good: Keep it up. Because if this sort of misogyny, from women, by women, against Sarah Palin continues, I will not only vote for Palin this November, I will vote for her in 2012 if Hillary is not the Democratic nominee. I will then vote for Palin AGAIN as long as she is on the Republican ticket and there is no female Democrat to vote for. I have had it. I am absolutely shocked, disgusted, appalled, and sickened by the far left right now. As a former member of not only NOW but the very radical Women’s Action Coalition (WAC) in the 1990s, I am amazed at how far the feminist movement has fallen. If this misogyny is what you really stand for, I will fight against it with my vote. And not only...

By S.E. Cupp Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin arriving at the Orlando, Fla. airport on Friday, with son Trig, 5 months, in her arms. Palin has been assailed by women for many of her views. I have a message for the self-styled guardians of womanhood who have decided that Sarah Palin is public enemy No. 1 - please stop talking. You're embarrassing yourselves and women all over the country. You are making otherwise thoughtful, careful, intelligent, tolerant and modern American women of every political bent look and sound ridiculous. As a woman myself, I'm begging you to stop. Put the pen down, close out the blog, push the E! microphone away. Your trash-talking is disturbing and humiliating. In fact, it's setting back the true cause of feminism - the advancement of women - far more than your imagined nemesis. Stop using and abusing Palin to pump up your own overweening egos. You are not the next Sojourner Truth, and Palin is not your next punch line. She's...