BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Survivors of abuse often have to deal with feelings of shame. There is an important difference between shame and guilt, and that is the key to dealing with shame effectively . Webster's New Universal Unabridged Dictionary defines shame as "the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another." And yes, it is a painful feeling, and is very common among survivors of abuse . For our discussion, we'll make some simplifications. Guilt is an emotion and a legal concept that belongs to the perpetrator, the initiator of an act of abuse . Shame is an emotion that afflicts the victim, the recipient of an act of abuse. Obviously, the perp should feel shame as well as guilt, but often feels neither, so we'll leave that out of this discussion. We'll talk about how victims can deal with shame. Even if you have worked hard to deal with guilt, and have assigned guilt to the person who abused you...

by Adele Ryan McDowell Do you know those moments when you are driving in the car and you find yourself knee-deep in reverie? These are moments when, out of nowhere, you find yourself long in thought; it's as if you have made a U-turn into the underground waters of your psyche. Maybe it's the constancy of the rhythmic motion that lulls you into a semi-trance state, or, perhaps, it's the sound of wheels in a circular song that rests your overactive mind. Or would you consider that it's the very act of traveling from one place to another, the movement of transition from Point A to Point B, these intersections of destination and duty, that often offers a window where pieces of the self can surface? This kind of reverie reminds me of being on the train that travels from London to Paris. You chug along taking in the jumble of the cityscape — buildings, signs and the chaotic colors of populated lives. The busy scenery morphs into the peacefulness of the passing gre...

By: Edith Rubin Unsung Heroes Throughout history, we have celebrated women for their outstanding heroic deeds. Yehudis, during the Hasmonean Revolution, beheaded the Greek general while he was under the influence of wine and besotted by her beauty, thus altering the course of the war. Lesser-known women like Gracia Mendes, a Marrano, risked her life during the Spanish Inquisition, and saved thousands of Jews. Hannah Senesh fearlessly parachuted into Hungary, in 1944, to save Jews. She was caught, imprisoned, and ultimately executed. Some others come to mind, who exemplified bravery, steadfastness and inner strength, traits not commonly associated with women. I am not referring only to Golda Meyer or Indira Ghandi, or even Tzipi Livni, who were able to make an impact on world events in our time. Our Matriarchs, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, and Leah, stayed in their respective tents, out of the public eye. Through their familiar advice and counsel, reached the heights of their potential. At ti...

FIGHT FOR JUSTICE Watch more videos like this at www.quantumshift.tv MORE HERE HOLLY'S BLOG The one who is extremely blessed? Is me... for having this courageous & understanding woman as my friend and my unconditional supporter. - Barbara

Hard to be a Jew? by Ben Goldfarb President, Paradigm Shift Communications Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (1895-1986), one of the greatest legal authorities of our generation, attributed part of the high assimilation rate of Jewish children in the United States to their parents' repeated usage of the phrase "It's hard to be a Jew." When children hear their parents use this phrase, they internalize this notion and it becomes their new mantra. Most people tend to avoid pain and choose pleasure, so it's no wonder that kids who grew up on the "It's hard to be a Jew" mantra have strayed from their tradition. Although any worthwhile pursuit will have its challenges, the mantra that our children should hear is "It's a pleasure to be a Jew." One of the problems facing the Jewish people in our generation is the inability to create a joyous atmosphere in our homes in general, and around our Shabbat (Sabbath) table in particular. Furthermore, there seems ...