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HURTFUL WORDS

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In the past weeks we have discussed various commandments that are related to speech, such as lashon hara. Another, less well-known command relating to speech is the prohibition of ‘hurtful words’, ( Onas Devarim in Hebrew) .There is a well-known saying that, “sticks and stones might break my bones but words can never hurt me.” This is not the Torah approach; speech is a very powerful tool that can be used to cause great good or great harm. In a certain way, harmful speech can actually do more damage than causing physical pain because speech can penetrate deep into a person’s inner being. Anyone involved in a long relationship can testify that a few harsh words can be remembered for several years. There are a number of different forms of Onas Devarim . The most obvious is speaking harshly to a person. It is forbidden to speak in such a way that will cause emotional damage to a person. Thus, raising one’s voice, or shouting are forms of speech that are almost always prohibited. A person...