BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

When you are told you have cancer, the diagnosis affects not only you, but also your family and friends. You may feel scared, uncertain, or angry about the unwanted changes cancer will bring to your life and theirs. You may feel numb or confused. You may have trouble listening to, understanding, or remembering what people tell you during this time. This is especially true when your doctor first tells you that you have cancer. It is not uncommon for people to shut down mentally once they hear the word "cancer." There is nothing fair about cancer and no one "deserves" to have it. A cancer diagnosis is hard to take and having cancer is not easy. When you find out you have cancer, your personal beliefs and experiences help you figure out what the diagnosis means to you and how you will handle it. As you face your own mortality and cope with the many demands of cancer, you may look more closely at your religious beliefs, your personal and family values, and what's mo...

These last few years I've been sorting life out... again. Whether its because of midlife crisis, pulling myself back together after a severe personal trauma or finding my balance after losing myself in motherhood, its been hard and rewarding. I realized that I will never arrive at a point where I'm done. Life and understanding will be an ongoing process of self-examining and the folding and unfolding of circumstance. I've also now become a parentless child. Death has claimed my parents, who had me when they were 'older.' And the contents of their home now sits in boxes in mine. I sort through it when I have energy but more importantly, when I can mentally & emotionally handle it. Being 'top dog' in the family now as freed me to feel. Feel the rage and anger at the cruel parenting I received. But sometimes I can't. My conditioning is so thorough that I have a hard time getting angry and staying angry at things I should. I will become incensed...