BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

I have had experienced this four times in the eight plus years I have been blogging. I had my computer hacked twice since 2004 and my IP address misused.  I was phished in 2010 -- twice and also had my IP address spoofed.  I (and a number of other people) had my hotmail account hacked by Nigerian Scammers and then sold for people to use for spam or proxies. (I've gotten emails from people I don't know and have never heard of - all of which I have reported to the proper outlets) It's frustrating. Like someone scrawling "for a good time call [your name or phone number]" on the bathroom wall back in school. (I will not count comment spam, etc.) Also, like many disabled bloggers, I am able to keep my sanity and learn new things by blogging. It puts me in touch with other 'adults' ( since I have long periods where I can't go out or very far ) as well as putting the news and fresh ideas right in my living room. I was lucky enough to have a coupl...

Not with an abusive pathological, it doesn't! Simple Case of Bad Guy Attacking Good Guy by Kathy Krajco Did you ever hear the saying "It takes two to Tango"? That's a common saying here in the United States, at least some parts of it. But I'll bet every language has a figure of speech that means the same thing. It takes two to Tango: That's what you're supposed to say when gossipping about interpersonal problems between two other people. The only interest is in coming to agreement with your gossips on who is to blame for it. Because then you are bestowing judgement on people, and that feels good. The doctrine firmly to be believed is that, no matter what the bad guy did, the good guy is partly to blame. I think this is construed as (of all things) "fairness" = unfairly (arbitrarily) placing blame on a person without one bit of evidence - just this almost religiously held slogan "It takes two to Tango." As in the ballroom danc...

from: Michele Toomey, PhD Violating Anger Has a twist Manipulates the truth Has a hidden agenda Attacks to hurt Blames and proves "guilt" Is a weapon Seeks to discredit the other as a person Has no accountability Hides behind innocence Is righteously superior Assumes another's motives Needs a villain Refuses to claim anything Seeks to punish Uses information to make a case against the other Fears exposure Leads to abuse Alienates and violates Liberating Anger Is straight Seeks the relief of honest self-expression Wants to discover the truth Expresses the hurt and anger Confronts Is a tool Seeks to expose Demands accountability Chooses not to hide Is adamant Never assumes motives Rejects villains Claims its part Determines consequences for itself Uses information for clarity/understanding Values exposure Leads to intimacy Liberates Because anger has such force and potential for violence, it needs to be treated with great discipline and respect. Uncontrolled anger is danger...

A couple of gems from Kathy Krajc o (with some equal opportunity graphics for you as well): "Responsibility" Wrap: Narcissist Hurts You to Make YOU Guilty of the Sin of Feeling the Pain by Kathy Krajco Remember when you were a child and you used to say that "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"? Even little children instinctively know enough to hide their pain when someone has hurt their feelings. This instinct is good, even when the enemy isn't really an enemy - just a friendly opponent in a tennis match. Don't let the emotional effect on you of bad things show. It encourages the adversary. But keeping them to yourself doesn't get rid of those feelings, does it? Children, however, live in very different minds than normal adults do. Like Alice and Peter Pan, they don't distinguish between fantasy and realty, preferring fantasy, where they learn the (delusory) power of magical thinking. In some cases this pretending goe...

Sarcasm has its place but I have never cared for a lot of it. To me, its a form of verbal attack. Often a very sarcastic person uses their sarcasm to cover inner anger & rage. Or a misplaced sense of superiority Maybe its at the person(s) or thing(s) they are commenting on - maybe its anger transferred from something else in their life. In short, I feel its often nasty & done purposely. It can be very humiliating to be the receiver or to even hear it said about other people or things. I've heard people who are very sarcastic say they consider themselves "funny & humorous." Sorry, I don't. I use sarcasm occasionally myself but I prefer irony or humor to get my point across - Sarcasm isn't always funny - its sometimes a form of hate speech. For those of us striving to be more ethical to everyone - here's a little quiz: By Avis Yarbrough The dictionary defines sarcasm as a cutting or contemptuous remark. If you are one of those people who consid...

"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering. ...In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator's first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it on herself; and in any case ...

As with any sociopathic type - HELL NO. You can't change or reform them. That's my $1.38. And with Obama closing Gitmo, we'd better buckle up. Because they always go right back to it! by Susan Mohammad News last week that Said Ali al-Shihri, a former inmate of Guantánamo, has emerged as al-Qaeda’s deputy leader in Yemen intensified debate on how to deal with prisoners held at the U.S.-run detention camp in Cuba. But al-Shihri’s narrative raised other interesting questions as well. In 2007, the U.S. released him to Saudi Arabia, where he underwent a much-trumpeted religious “deradicalization” program for jihadists that clearly didn’t take. In the past, Saudi authorities have consistently claimed that none of the program’s graduates have returned to terrorism in the five years since the program was established. But after al-Shihri’s story began unfolding, authorities admitted that nine others have been rearrested. Despite the failure, Time has reported, the Pentagon won’t...

By Bud White The Just Say No Deal/PUMA movement is evidence of a deep rift in the Democratic Party, one I believe the polls are not reflecting. Contrary to what the neo-liberals may say, the movement is not comprised of bitter old women — although many are bitter, many are women, and some are perhaps old. Instead, this deepening divide is the classic split of any political organization during a power struggle. The Daley Machine gave way to McGovern; and Goldwater conservatism rebuked Rockefeller’s liberalism. But this movement has a twist: Obama lacks legitimacy. The continuation of this rift is not about Hillary “losing.” Clintonistas, like myself, know that losing elections and having your heart broken is the inevitable risk of politics. Anglachel writes: With John Edwards in the news these days, I have been reflecting on the theme of “Two Americas” and have applied a twist that more accurately reflects the two Americas within the Democratic Party - those whose bigotry and...

Cross posted in support of HARRY's PLACE Last Friday, in the wake of a closely argued debate about whether Mohammed Sawalha, the President of the British Muslim Initiative, had used the phrase “Evil Jew” or “Jewish Lobby” in a speech, Harry’s Place received a letter . The letter is from Dean and Dean, a firm of solicitors who are acting for Mr Sawalha. Mr Sawalha has demanded that we take down certain articles from Harry’s Place, and publish an apology “in the attached wording”. The solicitors have failed to attach the apology that Mr Sawalha insists we publish. That omission matters little, as we have no intention of apologising to him at all, nor of taking down any article. We have responded to Mr Sawalha’s solicitors, through Mishcon de Reya, who are acting for us. Mr Sawalha claims that we have “chosen a malevolent interpretation of a meaningless word”. In fact, we did no more than translate a phrase which appeared in an Al Jazeera report of Mr Sawalha’s speech. When Al Jazeer...

I loathe Bill O'Reilly. Close second is Chris Matthews. And I don't like are covert misogynists. You know the type - those guys who say " my wife is so wonderful " and " my mother is a saint " but they won't promote that hard working gal at the office... (and their wife is a major breadwinner because at home they enjoy all the fruits of her labors with kids, bills, food, comfort; hmm... People, guys who SAY that stuff have something to prove - or hide.) These same animals look at every woman they meet outside their home or religious place as a potential 'score.' ( Wonder what she's like in bed?... heh heh ) At least O'Reilly and Matthews are blatant about it. As I tell all my clients - "WATCH THEIR ACTIONS, NOT THEIR WORDS." And if you're a smart woman? Look out. Can we send these neanderthals to Iraq or Iran? They'd fit right in with that medieval attitude of theirs. by Steve Young Last week I wrote of the sad sig...

Israel decides to take advantage of Thursday's bloody terror attack in Jerusalem in order to launch aggressive campaign against Hamas by Itamar Eichner Israel has decided to take advantage of Thursday's bloody terror attack in Jerusalem in order to launch an aggressive campaign against Hamas. Yedioth Ahronoth has learned that the political echelon instructed the Government Press Office to distribute the shocking images from the yeshiva shooting worldwide, including pictures of holy books perforated with bullets, a blood-stained praying shawl and the terrorist's body inside the yeshiva. Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni decided that the Foreign Ministry would work to convey the Israeli messages to the international community. Livni spoke to a large number of foreign ministers and expressed the State of Israel's abhorrence over the deadly attack. A sources in the Prime Minister's Office said Thursday, "There is a direct link between this...

by Ernest S. Wolf, MD (This paper originally was delivered at the International Self-Psychology Symposium in Dreieich, Germany, May, 2001.) Our topic for tonight, the problem of group violence, is one of the most important issues facing society. Not only is this a most crucial topic for our American society but we are confronted with events that are occurring all over the globe, on all continents and in all countries. While it is obvious that the daily news pin-point the current hottest areas of conflict, such as the Middle East, the Balkans, and certain regions of Africa, there seems to be no spot on this earth that is safe from unreasoning violence. Individuals as well as groups are in danger of being destroyed. How are we to understand these phenomena? I will attempt to bring two psychoanalytic perspectives to bear on these questions. A classic Freudian view derives the anger that is being expressed in hostile actions to an instinctual drive of aggression which is mo...