Fix, Forgive, Forget Redux CLICK HERE FOR THREAD THAT GOT ME THINKING ABOUT THIS What if I can't forgive? Q. You wrote that we don't need to forgive blindly ; it is proper to demand reasonable amends for any wrongs. What should I do if a person has so harassed and offended me that I feel I can't forgive him at all ? A. Jewish law emphatically holds that we should be generous and forthcoming in forgiving those who have transgressed against us, and that following forgiveness we should put the entire matter behind us. For example, the Torah tells us, "Don't take vengeance and don't bear a grudge" (Leviticus 19:18). However, as we pointed out, this behavior is appropriate after amends have been made; it is not always possible or even desirable beforehand. First we need to fix ; only afterwards do we forgive; after passing these two stages we should indeed forget. The process of forgiveness in Jewish tradition basically has two distinct functions. On...