BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Disproportional Responses Another great post by my friend, Anna. One I can relate to personally. I had a parent who treated me like this. And we've all dealt with people who used or abused us. The moment we stand up to them, though - watch out!! Heaven forbid WE get angry or hurt! But try to keep in mind the terrorists in our world today and their DISPROPORTIONATE responses while reading this great blog post: by Anna Valerious One of the oft used tools in the narcissist's manipulation toolbox is disproportional response. This technique is highly effective on adults; it is devastatingly effective on children. Any abusive tactic is targeted at one goal: control. The narcissist is consumed with controlling his version of reality which means he must control you in order to maintain a sense of the world as he has defined it. The narcissist attempts to maintain "order" and internal cohesion in himself by shaking up your world. By confusing you, he gets to feel sane. By fr...

When you are told you have cancer, the diagnosis affects not only you, but also your family and friends. You may feel scared, uncertain, or angry about the unwanted changes cancer will bring to your life and theirs. You may feel numb or confused. You may have trouble listening to, understanding, or remembering what people tell you during this time. This is especially true when your doctor first tells you that you have cancer. It is not uncommon for people to shut down mentally once they hear the word "cancer." There is nothing fair about cancer and no one "deserves" to have it. A cancer diagnosis is hard to take and having cancer is not easy. When you find out you have cancer, your personal beliefs and experiences help you figure out what the diagnosis means to you and how you will handle it. As you face your own mortality and cope with the many demands of cancer, you may look more closely at your religious beliefs, your personal and family values, and what's mo...

Everyone's Deepest Fear by Kathy Krajco A narcissist I knew found herself taking a Basic Studies course, Speech 101, during her sixth year of college (when her mother finally forced her to graduate). She told me that the other students (freshmen and sophomores) were naive. That they took things for granted and — well, it sounded like she was saying they thought life a piece of cake. Kinda like the American Dream: if you do your best, do things right, and play by the rules, you will succeed and live happily ever after. So, for her first speech, she thought to wise them up by showing them that they shouldn't be so carefree. In that speech she told them that they should take nothing for granted, that no matter who you are, you can have "it all taken away." Just like that. Overnight. Your job, career, your friends and family — everything. And through no fault of your own. No matter how good a person you are. No matter how well you do what you do. I naturally thought she w...

This is no surprise to me, considering a violent schizophrenic was out among the public in February 2007 and murdered my therapist with a meat cleaver. All because some Medicaid doctor wouldn't keep him under lock and key - despite him being arrested and put in medical detention numerous times. Next time some elderly or infirmed person refuses the Nursing Home? You'll know why. We have to do something MORE about the mentally ill in this country. Starting with stopping thinking we can change or cure everyone! by Carla K. Johnson Ivory Jackson had Alzheimer's, but that wasn't what killed him. At 77, he was smashed in the face with a clock radio as he lay in his nursing home bed. Jackson's roommate — a mentally ill man nearly 30 years younger — was arrested and charged with the killing. Police found him sitting next to the nurse's station, blood on his hands, clothes and shoes. Inside their room, the ceiling was spattered with blood. "Why didn't they do ...

by Adele Ryan McDowell Do you know those moments when you are driving in the car and you find yourself knee-deep in reverie? These are moments when, out of nowhere, you find yourself long in thought; it's as if you have made a U-turn into the underground waters of your psyche. Maybe it's the constancy of the rhythmic motion that lulls you into a semi-trance state, or, perhaps, it's the sound of wheels in a circular song that rests your overactive mind. Or would you consider that it's the very act of traveling from one place to another, the movement of transition from Point A to Point B, these intersections of destination and duty, that often offers a window where pieces of the self can surface? This kind of reverie reminds me of being on the train that travels from London to Paris. You chug along taking in the jumble of the cityscape — buildings, signs and the chaotic colors of populated lives. The busy scenery morphs into the peacefulness of the passing gre...

It boggles the mind. From 2000-2004 Karl Rove, Darth Cheney, the Bush Crime Family and their merry bands of Flying Monkeys manipulated, fixed and outright stole two elections. Even after all of America watched Dubya go down in flames in the Presidential Debates -- the voting turned sharply and mysteriously in his favor. Now here we are, 2008. Dubya's finally out the door and the Dems, who have been rending their clothes and tearing out their hair, trying to get some parity and fairness in Election Rules and Proceedings... who have been trying to get various Election Boards into court to own up for what that did in the 2000 & 2004 elections... have done the worst thing possible. Not only did they gang-rape the only Democrat I saw who truly was ready, willing and very capable of handling the Presidency; they are stooping lower than the Republicans ever did in the two prior elections. Elie Wiesel tells a wonderfully haunting story of how he almost became what he hated. He spent ...

The Abuser's Ploy: A Means for Dominion and Downfall I'd posted this on my other blog a while back. It relates political events to abuse and domestic violence in a very powerful and clear way. Its as revelant today as it was when I first posted it, in fact more so. And it deserves a repost so here goes: by Joyce Walker As citizens become aware of the dilemma the United States faces, they may find themselves wondering what happened to the "land of the free and the home of the brave." It seems incredible that a few rogue politicians could reek such havoc on the democratic traditions of a liberty loving nation such as ours. You would have thought that the violence against protestors by the military in Georgia at The School of the Americas and by police in Miami at the FTAA conference would have caused a public outcry, but the events were hardly mentioned in the news, except in local media which give a slanted view. Clues to this apparent apathy might be found in som...

"Esoteric mysticism teaches that humanity dwells in a state of psychic sleep. It can be called by other names such as saying that man lives in foolish illusion. That he deceives himself about everything. That he lives in flattering and self-damaging ideas about himself and his life. This psychic sleep is the cause of every human problem and disaster. It is sleeping people who suffer from heartache and loneliness, from fear and violence. Only self-awakening can end these sorrows." - VERNON HOWARD

German Muslim Sentenced for Stabbing Rabbi (he's the guy in the black jacket/ white pants) An Afghanistan-born German Muslim has been sentenced to three-and-a-half years in jail after he stabbed a rabbi in a Frankfurt street last September. The Jewish cleric believes the man was trying to kill him and that the sentence is too lenient. A German court sentenced a 23-year-old man Afghanistan-born man to three-and-a-half years in jail on Tuesday for stabbing and seriously injuring a rabbi in Frankfurt last September. The unemployed German Muslim, named only as Sajed A., stabbed rabbi Zalman Gurevitch, 42, in an altercation with the orthodox Jewish cleric who had been walking down a street with two companions. The court convicted him of causing grievous bodily harm. The Frankfurt public prosecutor’s office had initially planned to charge him with attempted manslaughter but refrained from doing so after investigating the case. During the trial an eyewitness said the two men had been invo...

"The blood froze in my veins" or "My blood curdled" - these common figures of speech can be taken literally, according to the latest studies. Indeed, more literally than some of us would like. For it turns out that intense fear and panic attacks can really make our blood clot and increase the risk of thrombosis or heart attack. Earlier studies showed that stress and anxiety can influence coagulation. However, they were based almost entirely on questionnaire surveys of healthy subjects. In contrast, the Bonn-based research team around Franziska Geiser (from the Clinic and Policlinic for Psychosomatic Medicine and Psychotherapy) and Ursula Harbrecht (from the Institute of Experimental Haematology and Transfusion Medicine) have been the first to conduct a very careful examination of coagulation in patients with anxiety disorders. Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time - fear of failing the math test, dread of going down into the dark cellar or, in a more gener...

Looks like the New York Slimes is more than an anti-semitic mouthpiece. It's a bully who runs from big guns like the Neocons and beats up on nice guys like Israel. NY Times Holds Stories Because They're Afraid of Conservatives By Cenk Uygur The John McCain-Vicki Iseman story is not the first article the New York Times has held back for political reasons. They have now done this on at least three occasions: 1. The original FISA story on how the Bush administration was not getting warrants for wiretaps inside the United States. 2. The original story in 2004 that showed Osama bin Laden was hiding in Pakistan, not Afghanistan. 3. The McCain-Iseman story. We had James Risen, the writer of the first two stories on our show [1] back in 2005 and he admitted that they held the Bin Laden story until after the 2004 election because the New York Times didn't want to "get caught up in the politics of it." [2] Another way of stating that is that they were afraid of being calle...

There Are Some Who Don’t Say Sorry I read this story and thought, "wow - I could have written this myself! " It's always powerful to read the inner thoughts of others in emotionally & verbally abusive relationships. The loneliness and emptiness of being in this sort of relationship is soul crushing. And as this piece below says, ' you don't recognize yourself. ' In counseling, I have met at least 25 women who all say the same things, in essence 'I didn't know what I was doing when I was with him. I can't believe I did those things. I was so brainwashed. It just wasn't like me to behave like that.' No, I believe it - I have been there. Bruises, blood, marks - are easy to see. But the pain inside is invisible... and I can tell you unless your abuser makes REAL & GENUINE amends - you can't heal, you can't move on and it never, ever heals. You adapt, your pain & anger empower you in some ways - but only the abuser ...