BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Taylor Caldwell was always one of my favorite authors - through high school and beyond. From 6th grade to 12th grade I developed a serious handicap - TELLING THE TRUTH. Caldwell's writing was descriptive and honest, and I appreciated it deeply. My Nana, of blessed memory, always told me - "Barbara, no one likes a truth teller. Just remember that." It was not an admonition to lie but to be aware of the consequences. My father, of blessed memory, told me the same - "Sweetie, you have my disease - that telling the truth disease." In fact, my father who had been in sales and on the road for many years, stopped and joined the State Troopers around 1971-72 because he got sick of "twisting the facts", as he put it. He even said 'it was wearing him down.' Unfortunately, in my 53 years on the planet I have been villanized, lied to and about , called crazy, psycho, obsessed, insane and a variety of other mean-spirited labels by people who have bl...

I'm drawn to work & people that provoke thought for me. Even if I don't agree with it - I take it in because I find I learn more from disagreement, about myself and about the way Hashem works in each of us. I used to read a site called THE DAILY OM. The other day the article du jour was entitled BLAMING OTHERS. At the end it said: We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame. BULLPOCKY!!! I don't buy it. For many many years I was raised by a parent who abused, used and manipulated me - but I was taught that I HAD to l...

by my friend 'Anna Valerious' (another Child of a Narcissistic Parent and blogger extraordinnaire!) ALL of this is easily extrapolated for use on narcissists & sub-criminal psychopaths in all walks of life (not just parents). ...Evil people don't wake up each day deciding which evil deeds to accomplish. They admit to no evil because define themselves and their deeds as good and right. I'm going to explain a little more how they create this alternate reality. It is important you understand how they twist their thinking because you have probably been sucked into believing their insane logic. I am convinced the narcissist senses deep down they are evil. Their whole existence is defined by their efforts to deny this nagging sense. Hence, the universal quality of narcissists to avoid introspection and their profligate use of projection. It is possible, though very rare, for an evil person to admit they are evil. Evil people who admit they are evil tend toward the...

I read this on one of my all-time favorite blogs and it really hit home. A few people have tried to demoralize me too. Even my late narcissistic parent. And its what terrorists do to get others to do what they want - demoralize. It's petty. So, herewith, an excerpt from Kathy Krajco's masterful blog : The aim of Error Tactics, then, is to demoralize us. First, don't allow a narcissist to relate to you as your judge. You can confront any attempt to do so. But you don't have to. You can just non-respond to it. In other words, act as though the narcissist didn't say the judgemental thing they just said. Change the subject. Walk out of the room. You are taking away their mirror. Then they can't see the image they're projecting in it. That is very unsettling to a narcissist. Really. Since they identify with that mirage, by making it disappear you give them an existential problem! There is probably nothing meaner you can do to a narcissist than just act...

Cluster B Personality Disorders ( Sociopathy/Moral Insanity , Narcissism , Borderline , etc) are some of the embodiments of evil , in my opinion. Yes, its a mental illness - genetic or acquired, I am not sure which - but that is no reason to feel sorry. For instance, one of my favorite Cluster B targets - Obama - showed his true colors in the last year or so. Actually to anyone like me who's spent a lifetime being victimized by these people and then BLAMED when I speak the truth or stand up for myself - the subtle stuff becomes very very obvious. The pain of being hurt by one of these people? It takes forever, if at all, to heal from. They reach down your throat and yank your soul out at the root. And they laugh at how gullible you were and how it was 'partly your fault anyway.' Projection, minimizing, whitewashing, spin-doctoring. Sigh... how about the truth from these people? Nah - too much work and no fun for them & their superiority complexes. Ever wh...

I was raised by my father, of blessed memory - to be truthful. Being scrupulously truthful has caused me a lot of problems. People either don't want to hear it or are frightened by it coming out (and often attack you for telling it.) But I am raising my own children to cling to truth. It will set you free. By Berel Wein The Torah extols the value of truth as an absolute virtue. It teaches us to stand firmly away from falsehood. Even though the technical application of this value in Halacha is apparently limited to legal and evidentiary matters, the value of truth in Judaism as a general axiom is unquestioned. Yet the Torah itself allows for the situations when ultimate truth can be harmful and counterproductive to family harmony and social amity. The Lord Himself, so to speak, does not tell Abraham the entire statement of disbelief of his wife Sarah when the angel informs her of the coming birth of her son Isaac. She wonders aloud how she will become youthfully rejuvenate...

There is a reason why you are asked in court to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. It is because most of the time that is not what people do. Everyone lies sometime. There are many reasons to lie. Sometimes it is to not hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes a lie is for our own advantage. Some people lie in conducting business and in their personal lives. Most adults are aware of when they lie. Young children sometimes have problems telling fantasy from reality. When a 3-year-old insists that he flew to Mars this morning, he may not be lying on purpose. He may not even be aware that it is a lie. Children with good imaginations often take longer to learn what a lie really is. It is important to work with children to teach them about fantasy and reality, instead of punishing them for these kinds of beliefs. A pathological liar believes in the lies, at least at the time that she or he is talking. Their stories tend to be very dramatic. They often portray the ...