BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by theabilitytolove A friend of mine wrote to me this morning and presented a video link to a Dr. Oz episode that discusses Fibromyalgia and the disabling and life threatening effects it has on those who suffer from it. Ironically, it’s not that the illness isn’t real, that makes it life threatening or extremely difficult to cope with by itself, it is invalidation by many physician’s who do not believe in the existence of Fibromyalgia as a true medical illness at all, or it is perceived as a mental illness- a somatic disorder.  The invalidation that patients experience on a regular basis is overwhelming and is a reflection of a serious and devastating picture of what is going on in our country, but also within our medical community, which is a lack of empathy and compassion for those who are truly suffering. Who are truly sick. The consequence of this is that we now live in a country of victimization. My friend was so frustrated that no one in the Fibro community was ...

This is what happens when abuse victims (ANY kind of abuse, and any religious or cultural background) are silenced!: By SUSAN EDELMAN and KIRSTEN FLEMING A Brooklyn newlywed who jumped to his death from a hotel balcony the night after his wedding was tormented by memories of being sexually molested as a Jewish student, sources say. After joyfully singing and dancing at their lavish celebration in Williamsburg on Nov. 3, Motty Borger, 24, bared his secret anguish to his bride, Mali Gutman, the next day -- and the revelation caused a strain, a source close to the family told The Post. "That entire day he discussed it with her. He told her the story of his life, how he felt so awful and he couldn't go near her," the source said. The couple had met just last July, after a matchmaker set them up. "When he got married, he realized he couldn't face up to it, and he told his wife that he needed help." The stunned bride responded, "So, why did you m...

(Remember: October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month) I will keep saying as long as I can type and have breath in my body. Victims need to tell. Victims need to talk about it. The only way they move forward, heal and get validation is to tell. Not 'get over it' or 'just forget about it' or "move on" but to tell and be heard. I have yet to meet a victim that was only interested in revenge. Yes, the thought crosses their minds but I talk them out of it easily. Why? Because for the most part - they want some sort of closure. Closure they won't get from their abuser(s). Usually because the abuser is too busy projecting , blame-shifting and trying to paint themselves (and sometimes their families) as the 'injured party. ' And abusers see themselves as entitled and above reproach. No, the overriding reason I hear for victims to tell - is the hope that the abuser will GET HELP. While the chances of a person who sees nothing wrong with usin...

There's a silence surroundiing me I can't seem to think straight I'll sit in the corner No one can bother me I think I should speak now (why won't you talk to me) I can't seem to speak now (you never talk to me) My words won't come out right (what are you thinking) I feel like I'm drowning (What are you feeling) I'm feeling weak now (why won't you talk to me) But I can't show my weakness (you never talk to me I sometimes wonder (what are you thinking) Where do we go from here (what are you feeling) "Keep Talking" PINK FLOYD/ The Division Bell One of the hardest things I do is to convince other victims to tell their stories. I let them know its o.k. to leave out specifics like names and places to protect innocent parties, but tell. Even in the Jewish community survivors face huge hurdles - mostly by being accused of Loshan Hara . But those of us who try to help these victims know all too often its a "shut up" tactic used by a...