BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by Kathy Krajco Quite a few years ago, I saw a documentary on TV about batterers. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the name of the program or the expert being interviewed, but what he said I think is self evident to anyone who has ever tried to communicate with an abusive person. What was it? He pointed out that in arguments between the victim and the batterer (not beatings, just arguments ), the victim always argued circles around the batterer, beating him hands down. I mean she whupped him. They actually captured examples on film, from counseling offices and even from cameras placed in the home. This should be no surprise. Of course she whupped him to shame. Reason was 100% on her side. He either had to concede her points or be totally irrational and blow back a wall of gibberish and bullshit at her, like a character in a Monty Python skit. Any fair and rational judge of the debate must award the victory to her, by pinning him on every point. If you live or work with a narcissist, you...

ARGUMENT OR HAIR SPLITTING? Jesuitical vs. Talmudic By Cullen Murphy An exchange occurred not long ago in California's Sacramento Superior and Municipal Courts. As a lawyer attempted to excuse his client's behavior with a convoluted explanation, Judge James Ford interrupted acidly with the comment, "That's just ... that's just too Jesuitical for words." The colloquy continued as follows: Lawyer: "Pardon me?" Judge: "It's too Jesuitical. You probably didn't go to a Jesuit school." Lawyer: "Certainly didn't. I am of the Jewish faith." Judge: "Then it's too Talmudic for words." One can almost hear the appreciative chuckles from the spectators' gallery at this bit of repartee--the overreactive, tension-dispelling response that very mild witticisms tend to produce in solemn venues. And yet someone should have risen to say, "Objection!" It is common to regard "Jesuitical"...