Attention: Huge Tax Cut!
By Anonymous Congress (with the help of Ohel Children and Family Services, NY) has recently discovered a new method of dealing with criminals that will help Americans save billions of dollars in future tax years. The theory goes as follows: Millions of dollars are spent every year on building and maintaining prisons. This is completely unethical. Who are we to convict a criminal to be locked up in such a cruel manner? Who are we to assume that a criminal didn't already do teshuva? Besides the fact that it is very cruel, it will be very bad for the family´s shidduchim (dating/marriage partner). Therefore, the new system will work as follows: All community leaders are to be prepared to receive all allegations of murder, theft, rape, etc. And of course, our beloved community leaders are naturally capable of dealing with all such situations. (Who needs trained professionals anyway?) After a thorough investigation is conducted, (of course, this does not include interviewing crime victi...