BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

My blogger sista Layla, wrote such a good post in July 2007 about a subject which I have discussed with many bloggers during the last 7 years which I have been fiddling around with blogs. Blogging was a great way to keep my mind active, now that I am unable and diagnosed unfit to work. I am teaching myself CSS and other coding little by little. Old horses do learn new tricks! When I started blogging I refused to talk politics.  According to my therapists I still lack a lot of self-esteem. Over the years I was told by far too many people I was stupid, ugly, worthless, too intense, had a big mouth and ended up saying 'yes' to things any rational person would have said "NO WAY" too.   Undiagnosed PTSD had me doing irrational things that no one would accept an apology for.  I went out of my way to make people happy, to my own detriment. So my blog was a mishmash of this and that. Stuff I had written on a good day and so on. I helped out 2 websites for a ...

This information was, in my opinion, so important for EVERYONE who has EVER been bullied -- whether as an adult or a child, online or off... verbally or emotionally abused, teased, put down, invalidated, smeared or slammed -- I am putting it here on my personal blog. I have, far too often, heard people I think should know better say -- "PTSD just PROVES [that person] is mentally ill." PTSD is NOT Mental Illness -- it is Psychological Injury. When we start to remove the stigma -- more people who need treatment & support will get it. If John McCain had become President? We'd have had a man in the White House who has PTSD. Think about it. Common features of Complex PTSD from bullying People suffering Complex PTSD as a result of bullying report consistent symptoms which further help to characterize psychiatric injury and differentiate it from mental illness. These include: Fatigue with symptoms of or similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (formerly ME...

from: Michele Toomey, PhD Violating Anger Has a twist Manipulates the truth Has a hidden agenda Attacks to hurt Blames and proves "guilt" Is a weapon Seeks to discredit the other as a person Has no accountability Hides behind innocence Is righteously superior Assumes another's motives Needs a villain Refuses to claim anything Seeks to punish Uses information to make a case against the other Fears exposure Leads to abuse Alienates and violates Liberating Anger Is straight Seeks the relief of honest self-expression Wants to discover the truth Expresses the hurt and anger Confronts Is a tool Seeks to expose Demands accountability Chooses not to hide Is adamant Never assumes motives Rejects villains Claims its part Determines consequences for itself Uses information for clarity/understanding Values exposure Leads to intimacy Liberates Because anger has such force and potential for violence, it needs to be treated with great discipline and respect. Uncontrolled anger is danger...

There's a silence surroundiing me I can't seem to think straight I'll sit in the corner No one can bother me I think I should speak now (why won't you talk to me) I can't seem to speak now (you never talk to me) My words won't come out right (what are you thinking) I feel like I'm drowning (What are you feeling) I'm feeling weak now (why won't you talk to me) But I can't show my weakness (you never talk to me I sometimes wonder (what are you thinking) Where do we go from here (what are you feeling) "Keep Talking" PINK FLOYD/ The Division Bell One of the hardest things I do is to convince other victims to tell their stories. I let them know its o.k. to leave out specifics like names and places to protect innocent parties, but tell. Even in the Jewish community survivors face huge hurdles - mostly by being accused of Loshan Hara . But those of us who try to help these victims know all too often its a "shut up" tactic used by a...

Everyone's Deepest Fear by Kathy Krajco A narcissist I knew found herself taking a Basic Studies course, Speech 101, during her sixth year of college (when her mother finally forced her to graduate). She told me that the other students (freshmen and sophomores) were naive. That they took things for granted and — well, it sounded like she was saying they thought life a piece of cake. Kinda like the American Dream: if you do your best, do things right, and play by the rules, you will succeed and live happily ever after. So, for her first speech, she thought to wise them up by showing them that they shouldn't be so carefree. In that speech she told them that they should take nothing for granted, that no matter who you are, you can have "it all taken away." Just like that. Overnight. Your job, career, your friends and family — everything. And through no fault of your own. No matter how good a person you are. No matter how well you do what you do. I naturally thought she w...

Start with denial. Abuse is such a horrid phenomenon that society and its delegates often choose to ignore it or to convert it into a more benign manifestation, typically by pathologizing the situation or the victim - rather than the perpetrator. Statistically, the majority of abuse victims are female and most abusers are male. Still, we should bear in mind that there are male victims and female offenders as well. Ideally, after a period of combined tutoring, talk therapy, and (anti-anxiety or antidepressant) medications, the survivor will self-mobilize and emerge from the experience more resilient and assertive and less gullible and self-deprecating. Victims of abuse are saddled with emotional baggage which often provokes even in the most experienced therapists reactions of helplessness, rage, fear and guilt. Countertransference is common: therapists of both genders identify with the victim and resent her for making them feel impotent and inadequate (for instance, in their role as ...

by the late -- Kathy Krajco The ancient Gnostics used to say that there is both an inner and an outer aspect to things. They called the outer aspect the "visible" world or the "seen" world, and they called the inner aspect the "invisible" world or "unseen," "hidden" world. If in this terminology you hear an echo with early Christian theology, that's because there is one. The first Christians were Jews, of course, soon followed by Gnostic Greeks, who had always appreciated the ancient Hebrew scriptures like the Creation Story, which they viewed as sacred myth - important for its MEANING but not necessarily literally true. The fourth Gospel (probably the oldest) is essentially a Gnostic work and is very different from the other three (synoptic) Gospels. A simple, well known example of "the two worlds" is a tennis match. In the 1970's, W. Timothy Gallwey wrote a monumental book entitled The Inner Game of Tennis that add...

Unbelievable! The smearing and slamming of Sarah Palin is already boggling my mind. I remember a professor of mine in college talking about the inner process of acting with me. We were sitting in his office and the conversation was getting very esoteric and interesting to me. At one point in our chat he leaned forward and said, "be careful what you hate and fear; because there's an inherent danger in BECOMING that thing as you try to fight it." I didn't understand what he meant at the time but I remembered and as the years wore on he's been proved right over & over again. The Dems and Far Left as now JUST AS BAD AS THE ACCUSED THE FAR RIGHT OF BEING IN 2000 AND 2004!! Today alone I heard that: Sarah Palin isn't a good mother to her infant, special needs child - because she's running for Vice President! (Would they say that to a man?) Sarah Palin was a knee-jerk choice on McCain's part because the RNC vetoed Joe Lieberman. (say what??) Sarah Pa...