BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

FOR THOSE WHO TELL OTHERS TO "get over it" and/or "move on" - or that we are obsessed, out of control, etc.  It's not up to YOU when a victim moves on.  It's up to them in their own time and their own way! Talk about closed system of logic! ~~~~~~~~~ and its ABUSIVE to suggest that they should! Reality and Revictimization... (some changes made, for the original & updated version at a GREAT website see the link at the bottom of this post) Victim, survivor, victimology, victim abuse... why are victims being told to deny their reality? You have been methodically and diabolically abused and suddenly you hear "don't be a victim, choose to be a survivor." The concept that a victim can always consciously choose how to proceed, is wrong . The phrase, "move on with your life" is common. In a commanding, offhand and arrogant tone, those who have fought and lost a custody battle, their home, car and savings, family, job ...

"Why do you do it?" I am often asked, when discussing my involvement with helping victims of non-physical abuse. "Doesn't it set you off or trigger you?" "Yes. But only by going over the patterns myself and with others will I teach them to recognize it. And remind myself before I get targetted to be used and discarded ever again." I try not to get into a discussion of Repetition Compulsion but so many people have asked me about it, I did some web searches until I found a good scientific article on what it is. I have posted a highly edited version below. My other reason? Is Teshuva. It's important to me and my ethical core, that I do something to contribute to healing others. Especially since I got involved with a couple predatory people in my life, did everything I could to help them and some of that help was having them coerce me way over my boundaries & conscience. Many of my friends don't understand why I am not more angry at be...