BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by Thomas J. Schumacher, Psy.D., R-CSW Most all of you have had to contend with control freaks. These are those people who insist on having their way in all interactions with you. They wish to set the agenda and decide what it is you will do and when you will do it. You know who they are – they have a driving need to run the show and call the shots. Lurking within the fabric of the conversation is the clear threat that if you do not accede to their needs and demands, they will be unhappy. Certainly, it’s natural to want to be in control of your life. But when you have to be in control of the people around you as well, when you literally can’t rest until you get your way … you have a personality disorder. While it’s not a diagnostic category found in the DSM IV (the therapist’s bible for diagnostic purposes) an exaggerated emphasis on control is part of a cluster of behaviors that can be labeled as compulsive generally characterized by perfectionism, orderliness, workaholic tendencies, ...

"Why do you do it?" I am often asked, when discussing my involvement with helping victims of non-physical abuse. "Doesn't it set you off or trigger you?" "Yes. But only by going over the patterns myself and with others will I teach them to recognize it. And remind myself before I get targetted to be used and discarded ever again." I try not to get into a discussion of Repetition Compulsion but so many people have asked me about it, I did some web searches until I found a good scientific article on what it is. I have posted a highly edited version below. My other reason? Is Teshuva. It's important to me and my ethical core, that I do something to contribute to healing others. Especially since I got involved with a couple predatory people in my life, did everything I could to help them and some of that help was having them coerce me way over my boundaries & conscience. Many of my friends don't understand why I am not more angry at be...