Infinite Patience Rectifying Oneself; Rectifying Others It is indeed a great achievement to reach the genuineness to be able to discuss one's shortcomings frankly with his partner. But one must still take care to apply this objectivity only to his own lackings and problems, enlisting his partner's aid and support in rectifying them through prayer and self-refinement. With regard to judging (or condemning) the apparent shortcomings and misdeeds of an other, our sages have said, "Do not judge your fellow until you have reached his place" (Avot 2:4). Chassidut explains that since one can never really reach an other's "place," never fully understand the motivations (the "why," whether conscious or unconscious) behind his behavior, he is unable to judge him (Sefat Emet). Nonetheless, "until you have reached his place" implies that one should try to understand his fellow as best he can, to draw himself as close to his fellow's "pla...