BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Unfortunately both my emotional and professional lives have been loaded with betrayals. Some were so horrific that they scarred me forever. I don't think I will ever understand why people I loved & cared about or people I worked hard for - decided I was the one to rip to shreds. Never. I will never understand ever what I did in my life to deserve the horrific abusive treatment I have received. But I do know I need to tell the truth in order to heal. Herewith is one of the earliest emotional betrayals I ever experienced. I have re-experienced this same type of trauma a couple other times in my life. The perpetrator never ever apologizes, gives closure or talks to you about it. And if you do tell the truth - you will be smeared and demonized for opening your mouth. Repetition Compulsion doesn't get easier, in fact - it gets exponentially worse each time. I never had a real date until I was near to my 17th birthday. I experienced early puberty and was very ...

I address the victims of narcissistic abusers here. But this can warn their friends about how hurtful the stock responses to their pain are. (i.e. 'Get Over It, Move On, You Should Have Known, It Will Pass.. .') If you are the friend of an abused person, don't make it worse. If you can't say what comes naturally and honestly, it would be better to say nothing at all than to say what sounds right because it's politically correct. "He who angers you controls you." Baloney. That popular adage does not pass a basic nonsense check. Look, it says that if we want to be good boys and girls we must numb ourselves so that nobody can make us feel anything. Look again, it is exactly anti-logical, blaming the victim. It pathologizes you, the victim of the narcissist, instead of the narcissist. Stuff like this is my pet peeve. Where on earth does it come from? Once you start noticing how much political correctness is anti-logic, you can't help but wonder (with Ma...

In June 2007 I wrote an article called PRISONERS OF THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT. Over that summer I was lucky enough to attend a number of conferences on Domestic Violence Advocacy, an area where awareness & advocacy is still desperately lacking. Aside from my speaking out about the lack of or insufficient responses from law enforcement, a lot of talk circled around faith-based abuse counseling. It seems priests, pastors, rabbis and so on are still trying to keep families together when there is clearly a cunning and remorseless abuser or exploiter in the home. Many don't get verbal, emotional or psychological abuse at all! And worst of all, they have little to no knowledge of what their "forgive & forget" speeches and minimization of the abuse's effects do to children. I made the following honest comments to one group: I grew up in a home where I was insidiously abused. To this day I deal with a profound lack of ego & self-esteem and seem to be a magnet f...

Oh Alex, you are so not helping efforts to validate Parental Alienation as a Syndrome ... Alex Baldwin's tirade against his minor child needs to be seen for what it is - child abuse. Not only is it child abuse but is also so typical of the mindset and the philosophy that Americans so easily resort to when it comes to taking responsibility for their actions. "It's not my fault." Here is what Baldwin said after calling his little girl a "thoughtless little pig" and threatening to come from New York to Los Angeles to "straighten her out" - a threat to the kid's safety if ever there was one. "Although I have been told by numerous people not to worry too much, as all parents lose their patience with their kids, I am most saddened that this was released to the media because of what it does to a child," he wrote. "I'm sorry, as everyone who knows me is aware, for losing my temper with my child. I have been driven to the edge ...

Why Leaders Make a Mistake, Can't Fix it and Won't Admit it. A world leader can make a huge mistake such as leading their nation to an unjust war, then, after the reasons for the war are shown to be invalid, not be able to bring themselves to admit that the mistake that the war was wrong or be “big enough” to reverse policy and stop the war. Instead, they continue to maintain that the war was right all along, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. They defend their error, fail to reverse course, and allow many more to die needlessly. This happens often in history. One thinks of Napoleon’s foolish invasion of Russia. Hitler did the same a century later. One thinks of Vietnam. One thinks of Iraq. Psychiatrists call it "narcissistic rage in leaders". It is direct evidence of a leader's fundamental psychological weakness--a damaged and fragile self-concept. But it can also lead to the destruction of individuals, groups, organizations, and even entire nations. ...

Narcissistic Superstars play the lead in their own life story, which, to them, is indistinguishable from the history of civilization. These vampires believe at the depths of their souls that they are the most important people on earth. If you understand and accept this one central fact, Superstars cease to be a danger and become merely an annoyance. If the fact that they believe themselves to be the crown of creation offends you and makes you want to point out to them that they're not so great as they think they are, get away quickly, because they will destroy you. Whatever they are and whatever they have is never enough. They always want more. Narcissistic Superstars' abilities, coupled with their tremendous hunger, may bring them success, but never satisfaction. They build empires, lead nations, create great works of art, and amass huge sums of money for one purpose only: to prove how great they are. Superstars may boast incessantly about what they have and what they've d...