BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

by my friend 'Anna Valerious' (another Child of a Narcissistic Parent and blogger extraordinnaire!) ALL of this is easily extrapolated for use on narcissists & sub-criminal psychopaths in all walks of life (not just parents). ...Evil people don't wake up each day deciding which evil deeds to accomplish. They admit to no evil because define themselves and their deeds as good and right. I'm going to explain a little more how they create this alternate reality. It is important you understand how they twist their thinking because you have probably been sucked into believing their insane logic. I am convinced the narcissist senses deep down they are evil. Their whole existence is defined by their efforts to deny this nagging sense. Hence, the universal quality of narcissists to avoid introspection and their profligate use of projection. It is possible, though very rare, for an evil person to admit they are evil. Evil people who admit they are evil tend toward the...

2002 saw me deeply depressed, physically more ill than ever and exhausted. 2002 also saw me get sucked into something horrible by someone I had mistakenly trusted for years. That trust was a hideous mistake. In the two years that followed this person who led me to believe they were my lifeline of sanity in an environment of oppression and abuse - twisted my mind, shattered my heart and lead me down the road to perdition. To a place where I didn't know myself, I was saying and doing things I would never have done under normal circumstances and where my emotions and trust were raped repeatedly. In the months that followed, with a lot of help - I forced myself back on track. The track of doing the right thing. This person had suggested Mussar to me. This person followed a lot of marketing/ mind control tactics and had a great way of giving me something with one hand - while lying and coercing me to do the polar opposite with the other. But I did look into Mussar - and I am stil...

by Yaffa Ganz Reprinted with permission from “THE JEWISH FACT FINDER” Important Torah Facts and Handy Jewish Information. Feldheim Publishers. Here are 13 character traits for a human being to focus on to better himself, as suggested by Rabbi Yisrael of Salant, the founder of a Jewish self-improvement program called the “Mussar movement.” 1) TRUTHFULNESS [EMET] Be truthful in all you say. 2) QUICKNESS [ZERIZUT] All that you have to do, do without wasting time. 3) DILIGENCE [CHARITZUT] Do all that you are supposed to do conscientiously. 4) RESPECT [KAVOD] Be extremely careful with the honor and feelings of others. 5) TRANQUILLITY [MENUCHA] Do everything quietly, without undue confusion or excitement. 6) GENTLENESS [NACHAT] The words of the wise are spoken softly and peacefully. 7) CLEANLINESS AND PURITY [NIKAYON] Keep your body and your clothing clean and pure. 8) PATIENCE [SAVLANUT] Whatever happens in life, be patient. 9) ORDER [SEDER] Do everything in an orderly and discipli...

Trustworthiness. Respect. Responsibility. Fairness. Caring. Citizenship. The Six Pillars of Character are ethical values to guide our choices. The standards of conduct that arise out of those values constitute the ground rules of ethics, and therefore of ethical decision-making. There is nothing sacrosanct about the number six. We might reasonably have eight or 10, or more. But most universal virtues fold easily into these six. The number is not unwieldy and the Six Pillars of Character can provide a common lexicon. Why is a common lexicon necessary? So that people can see what unites our diverse and fractured society. So we can communicate more easily about core values. So we can understand ethical decisions better, our own and those of others. The Six Pillars act as a multi-level filter through which to process decisions. So, being trustworthy is not enough — we must also be caring. Adhering to the letter of the law is not enough — we must accept responsibility for our action o...