BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

As many of you already know, I am not a fan of the current psychobabble 'forgive & forget' model of adult discourse. Some things are unforgiveable.     I am always willing to listen, discuss, open the door to considerate communication that doesn't attack or blame and of course - genuine apology that owns the behavior that caused the rift in the first place. No one should be expected to forgive without repentance by the perpetrator. No one. But blanket forgiveness? Sorry. That, in my humble opinion, is for suckers. excerpts From the political to the persona l, Americans are caught in an orgy of forgiveness. Failure to pardon, we're constantly admonished, will blight our lives. Now a psychotherapist counters that popular claim. You can refuse to absolve your lover, spouse, parent, sibling or friend, she declares, and still be emotionally healthy. Flip to any television station these days and chances are we'll be witness to some dramatic episode of fo...

I concur. My late dog was wonderful with my kids when they were babies. They seemed to understand each other in a way I could not. It was beautiful to see. He'd even let me know when one of them was sick or in distress. Of course, exercise a lot of caution and supervise at all times when introducing your new baby to your dog. Always. He is very missed. Babies Can Comprehend 'Canine' Language By Randy Dotinga What's in a bark? A new study suggests that 6-month-old babies know the answer. Researchers found that most infants who were tested could figure out that an aggressive bark goes with an angry-looking dog. They also seemed to know that friendly-looking pooches voice their feelings in a different way. The babies managed to do this even though they weren't very familiar with dogs. It's not clear whether the babies actually know that a dog baring its teeth is a sign of trouble, but they're showing a level of sophistication regarding how dogs reveal thei...

By William Polowniak, Ph.D. Fritz Perls a famous Jewish psychotherapist known for his founding of Gestalt therapy once said that refusal to communicate is the most toxic human behavior. I am convinced that he is right. Refusal to communicate really means refusal to listen and to enter into dialogue especially when we disagree. Usually people who refuse to communicate live their lives as “functional sociopaths.” That is, they are self-centered, they do as they please with total disregard for others and they indulge in subterfuge, self-delusion and see themselves as persecuted. Their delusions of self-persecution cause them to become angry manipulators. So why label people in “either or” categories as “toxic” or “nourishing” people? Labels themselves are dangerous and often unfair, but for the wise person they do help us see what to avoid. They help us to invest our energies in more productive ways. When we use labels, however, we must be aware that labeling others without caution is in ...

by my friend, the late Kathy Krajco Quite a few years ago, I saw a documentary on TV about batterers. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the name of the program or the expert being interviewed, but what he said I think is self evident to anyone who has ever tried to communicate with an abusive person. What was it? He pointed out that in arguments between the victim and the batterer (not beatings, just arguments), the victim always argued circles around the batterer, beating him hands down. I mean she whupped him. They actually captured examples on film, from counseling offices and even from cameras placed in the home. This should be no surprise. Of course she whupped him to shame. Reason was 100% on her side. He either had to concede her points or be totally irrational and blow back a wall of gibberish and bullshit at her, like a character in a Monty Python skit . Any fair and rational judge of the debate must award the victory to her, by pinning him on every point. If you live or work wi...

IF YOU’RE GOING TO BOYCOTT ISRAEL - DO IT PROPERLY! I stumbled on this gem - well worth a read. It made me smile and I am sending it to EVERYONE I know! OK. So I understand that you are ticked off at Israel , and in love with the Palestinians. That’s fine with me, as long as you have truly weighed all the facts. So, you want to boycott Israel ????? I’ll be sorry to miss you, but if you are doing it - do it properly. Let me help you. Check all your medications. Make sure that you do not have tablets, drops lotions, etc., made by Abic or Teva. It may mean that you will suffer from colds and flu this winter but, hey, that’s a small price for you to pay in your campaign against Israel, isn’t it? While we are on the subject of your Israeli boycott, and the medical contributions to the world made by Israeli doctors and scientists, how about telling your pals to boycott the following… An Israeli company has developed a simple blood test that distinguishes between mild and more severe cases ...