BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

Speaking out about the wrongdoings of people who abuse others, politicians and about my government has earned me some accusations of performing LASHON HARA . A wonderful commentary from Radical Torah however, throws it into a whole new light for me: (excerpts) Well, who do I know who loves rebuke? Let’s see. There’s — no, well, how about — no. Hmm. I think , didn’t — …uh, nope, not her either. Maybe..? No, nope. Well, I can’t really think of anyone I know who loves rebuke. But rebuking, that’s another story. I’m sure we can all think of lots of folks who are pretty into it. They swoop into your office on an already unpleasant Monday to let you know about some trivial thing that no one but them noticed. Or they call you up and sweetly tell you they told you so. Or — Hey, Mom, do I have to hear about that again? But surely, that’s not what the Torah is speaking of when it tells us this week, Leviticus 19:17: You shall not hate your brother in your heart; you shall surely rebuke...

There's a silence surroundiing me I can't seem to think straight I'll sit in the corner No one can bother me I think I should speak now (why won't you talk to me) I can't seem to speak now (you never talk to me) My words won't come out right (what are you thinking) I feel like I'm drowning (What are you feeling) I'm feeling weak now (why won't you talk to me) But I can't show my weakness (you never talk to me I sometimes wonder (what are you thinking) Where do we go from here (what are you feeling) "Keep Talking" PINK FLOYD/ The Division Bell One of the hardest things I do is to convince other victims to tell their stories. I let them know its o.k. to leave out specifics like names and places to protect innocent parties, but tell. Even in the Jewish community survivors face huge hurdles - mostly by being accused of Loshan Hara . But those of us who try to help these victims know all too often its a "shut up" tactic used by a...

I keep repeating here and on my other blog over & over & over again - abuse (ANY kind of abuse) victims MUST TALK ABOUT THE ABUSE IN ORDER TO HEAL. Talking about the abuse you endured helps get it out of the dark and into the light - where it 'disinfects.' It connects you to everyone else. It gets it 'out of your head' and stops driving you crazy. You start to see that you are not alone, you start to take back your dignity & selfhood. I do NOT mean revenge or ruining someone's life either. I don't mean malicious gossip. I mean TELLING THE TRUTH. Protecting others from being hurt by the abuser, as well as validating that you in NO WAY did anything to 'ask for' or 'go along with' or 'deserve' the abuse. And maybe - you will stop the abuser long enough to admit & see that their behavior has harmed others - and get help for their actions. Healing is an ONGOING process. Anyone who tells you you're bad for talking ab...