BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

I had the good fortune to stumble on Ms. Lefave's blog a while back. Her writing on psychology & psychiatry is insightful and laser-like in cutting through the b.s. My kinda girl. She absolutely nails the "get over it" crowd -- those pathology sympathizers who think victims of emotional, psychological trauma and emotional rape are just being 'overly dramatic.' She also nails the perpetrators of the trauma who want you to A CT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED and smear you for being angry and demanding accountability. Especially the CLUELESS therapists, life coaches and snake oil salespeople who try to treat sufferers and end up revictimizing them all over again. You Go, Ms. Lefave! By Patricia Lefave, Labeled, D.D.(P) What is L.O.A.D.? Well, it is described by many of the family members as a frightening altered state much like the hypnotic trance or brainwashed state of cult members. It tends to strike the upper classes just as much, if not more than a...

FOR THOSE WHO TELL OTHERS TO "get over it" and/or "move on" - or that we are obsessed, out of control, etc.  It's not up to YOU when a victim moves on.  It's up to them in their own time and their own way! Talk about closed system of logic! ~~~~~~~~~ and its ABUSIVE to suggest that they should! Reality and Revictimization... (some changes made, for the original & updated version at a GREAT website see the link at the bottom of this post) Victim, survivor, victimology, victim abuse... why are victims being told to deny their reality? You have been methodically and diabolically abused and suddenly you hear "don't be a victim, choose to be a survivor." The concept that a victim can always consciously choose how to proceed, is wrong . The phrase, "move on with your life" is common. In a commanding, offhand and arrogant tone, those who have fought and lost a custody battle, their home, car and savings, family, job ...

"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering. ...In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator's first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it on herself; and in any case ...