BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

As many of you already know, I am not a fan of the current psychobabble 'forgive & forget' model of adult discourse. Some things are unforgiveable.     I am always willing to listen, discuss, open the door to considerate communication that doesn't attack or blame and of course - genuine apology that owns the behavior that caused the rift in the first place. No one should be expected to forgive without repentance by the perpetrator. No one. But blanket forgiveness? Sorry. That, in my humble opinion, is for suckers. excerpts From the political to the persona l, Americans are caught in an orgy of forgiveness. Failure to pardon, we're constantly admonished, will blight our lives. Now a psychotherapist counters that popular claim. You can refuse to absolve your lover, spouse, parent, sibling or friend, she declares, and still be emotionally healthy. Flip to any television station these days and chances are we'll be witness to some dramatic episode of fo...

There's a silence surroundiing me I can't seem to think straight I'll sit in the corner No one can bother me I think I should speak now (why won't you talk to me) I can't seem to speak now (you never talk to me) My words won't come out right (what are you thinking) I feel like I'm drowning (What are you feeling) I'm feeling weak now (why won't you talk to me) But I can't show my weakness (you never talk to me I sometimes wonder (what are you thinking) Where do we go from here (what are you feeling) "Keep Talking" PINK FLOYD/ The Division Bell One of the hardest things I do is to convince other victims to tell their stories. I let them know its o.k. to leave out specifics like names and places to protect innocent parties, but tell. Even in the Jewish community survivors face huge hurdles - mostly by being accused of Loshan Hara . But those of us who try to help these victims know all too often its a "shut up" tactic used by a...

Hey Barry? CAN YA' HEAR ME NOW? By Sayed Salahuddin Taliban insurgents rejected on Wednesday a U.S. offer of "honorable reconciliation" as a "lunatic idea" and said the withdrawal of foreign troops was the only way to end the war in Afghanistan. With the Afghan conflict now in its eighth year, NATO-led forces and the Taliban are locked in a bloody stalemate with violence set to rise further this year as more U.S. troops arrive and seek to contain the insurgency ahead of August elections. President Barack Obama is redoubling U.S. efforts with more troops, more diplomatic effort and more economic assistance, but he has also already spoken of the need for an "exit strategy." If the U.S. plan fails to show results, analysts say, time is on the Taliban side. U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told an international conference on Afghanistan on Tuesday that those members of the Taliban who abandoned extremism must be granted an "honorable form of re...

As we approach Yom Kippur in this New Year, we need to think about forgiveness. There's an awful lot of New Age psychobabble out there about forgiving & releasing guilt. But I don't believe in forgiving when the offender hasn't asked for forgiveness, made amends to you and you and the offender have worked things out. That's restorative justice. There were some people I knew since I was a little girl that I now haven't spoken with in almost 25 years. Why? Because they expect me to forgive & forget without them saying "I'm sorry" or admitting what they'd done. I can't be a phony. I was a good actor when I was working but that was work. I never practiced acting as a type of deception. In fact what I felt was that it was either portraying reality or some truth in a way that your audience could understand. Even in comedy I relished taking truth and blowing it up so big you couldn't miss it. Truth and honesty always resonate with...

NOW THAT TRUST IS GONE, CAN OLMERT GET IT BACK? Speaking what I percieve emotionally ( because that is how I react to things and what I work with all the time) PM Olmert has broken trust with the people of Israel. He's full steam ahead and hoping to recover but can he? Will he just turn a blind eye and pretend everything's fine like President Bush? Or since he's determined to hang in there for a few difficult months (probably) since the Winograd Report can he do the hard and painful task of regaining some measure of Israel's trust? Emotional reactions to broken trust with a politician, much like in our personal lives is often composed of some mixture of anger, disappointment, and/or frustration at oneself for trusting and at the offender, in this case Olmert, for exploiting that trust. Olmert's credibility, much like President Bush's - is shot. Poor judgment and ego did that for them - and neither has truly owned up to it. (Bush never will, in my opinion he...

Parshat Acharei-Kedoshim ------------------------ Responsibility for Others "Do not stand by the blood of your neighbor", states the Torah in the second section of the double Parshah [4]. This command appears among a number of laws which are all fundamentally important in our lives as human beings and as Jews. We are responsible for each other. If someone has fallen into serious difficulty, we have to try to rescue him or her. Rashi gives the example of a person drowning, or being attacked by a wild animal or by bandits. To attempt to save the person in such a situation involves danger and risk. Despite this, if we feel that we could be successful we have to take that risk in order to help another person. For that person was created in the image of the Divine. If one succeeds in saving that one individual, the Sages say it is as if one has saved the entire world [5]. PLEASE CLICK HERE TO JBLOG ME