YEDIDUT NEFESH

Along with my neurological and endocrinological problems - my cardiac problems were getting worse but have been halted in their tracks. All the medical testing in the world can only show the physical effects and try to treat them.

But I know in my soul where the root of the problem is. It isn't just my lifetime of being a target for interpersonal exploitation & abuse, being invalidated and opprobriated by those I trusted... it's this:

"A debilitating weariness brought about by repetitive, empathic response to pain and suffering, compassion fatigue is a result of absorbing and internalizing the emotions of clients and, sometimes, coworkers, explains Karl LaRowe, MA, LCSW. It's an occupational hazard that may affect any professional who works day in and day out with those who are physically, mentally, or emotionally challenged or those who have been traumatized - whether by illness, violence or other tragedies."

"Compassion fatigue, says LaRowe, is nothing less than secondary traumatic stress, and its effects are much the same as those of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The signs and symptoms, he observes, at first tend to be psychological and emotional, but may soon become behavioral, physical, and spiritual . The repercussions, both personal and professional, are costly.

Compassion fatigue,' LaRowe explains, 'can result in distraction, hypersensitivity, overload, and misperception in our communications with self and others.' It frequently leads, he adds, to physical illness, and to the No. 1 ailment of caregivers: clinical depression. LaRowe notes that the comorbid conditions most often associated with and closely related to trauma is depression."

'Many of us have chosen to go into the health profession in general, and to work with traumatized people in particular, because we've experienced trauma in our own lives.'
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"misperception in our communications with self and others"? Heck, yeah. Despite now having a lot of sound education under my belt to help those I am committed to help, in my personal life I sometimes continue to trust the wrong people.

Many of my friends continue to also trust the wrong people. And we are by and large very intelligent, independent, savvy - but wounded. We still lead with our hearts which make us targets. We hold our hands out to one another and hang on for dear life.

And we are bound together by shared psychic pain & yes, the unending pain of true yedidut nefesh.

The care, concern, and warmth which are stimulated by yedidut nefesh, deep friendship, remind us that our souls can still experience emotions other than pain and fear. When reality has forcibly relinquished all control, these ties are still within our purview. The bonds between us and those closest to us keep us going. With every passing day we, as parents, are devastated by the realization that we can no longer protect our children; yet our indefatigable response is to cling to them more and more. In the face of such adversity, our resilient souls never tire of showering our children with limitless love.

(FULL ARTICLE)

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