BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

This article rang true for me and how I have spent the last 6+ years of my life. I hope you get something from it also. - Barbara The Point of Return by Rosally Saltsman We can take the most insidious penchant, and nurture it into a positive and restorative force. Frank Abagnale, the "hero" of the book and movie Catch Me if You Can , was one of the most infamous contemporary outlaws. He successfully eluded the FBI, Interpol and the Justice system of 26 countries for five years, while amassing millions. After being caught and serving five years in prison, he was offered a chance to redeem himself by working for the U.S. government, uncovering the kind of schemes that he himself had perpetuated. He went from master criminal to crime prevention, protecting companies around the world from people like himself. Moreover, he paid back all the money he stole. Abagnale's success story is paralleled in the Talmud. Reish Lakish was a successful bandit known for his unusua...

A Ritual for Domestic Violence Awareness I ask my friends and fellow bloggers to remember abuse victims as Sukkot begins. Victims of mental, emotional & verbal abuse have "no safe place." While Domestic Violence Month officially begins in October - I would ask all of you to get and wear the Purple Ribbon during Sukkot and all of October - in support of people like myself. Victims & Survivors - who deserve peace & justice. Rebecca Schwartz remembers the first Sukkot observance that her organization, Shalom Bayit, initiated in 1994: A small group of women, survivors of domestic violence and volunteer staff, reclaimed the sukkah as a shelter of peace. "The sukkah was like a refuge," recalls Schwartz, associate director of the San Francisco Bay Area organization devoted to combating domestic violence. "For some, this was the first time they had felt safe in the Jewish community." Today, with more awareness and less denial in the Jewish co...

It is therefore the universal Jewish custom – some time before Yom Kippur -- to apologize and seek forgiveness from any friends, relative, or acquaintances whom we may have harmed or insulted over the past year. REPENTANCE Repentance is predicated on wanting to stop the transgression. To achieve this, we must first analyze the dynamics of transgression. How does it happen? There are four stages in the process of transgression: Dormant Active Situation Transgression To illustrate, let's use the example of someone trying to stop smoking. The scene is a man sitting by his desk at the office doing work. He has a history of addiction to cigarettes and has been trying to stop smoking, unsuccessfully, for three months. Let's observe him and see what happens... DORMANT At first the urge for a cigarette is DORMANT. It can be activated at any time but at this point the craving for a cigarette is nothing more than potential energy. ACTIVE The door to our smoker's...

I re-read Alice Miller's latest groundbreaking book THE BODY NEVER LIES . I have come to the conclusion that forgiveness without the abuser or person who's hurt you's full acceptance and owning  of what they did and making amends - isn't possible for me.  Doesn't mean I stay hurt and angry or have no peace of mind - I am simply not able to forgive. I have come to understand that some things simply are not forgiveable. And that forgiving certain things negates my dignity and right to my own feelings. As my friend, the late Kathy Krajco said " you can't forgive a crime in progress ." That is to say, if the abuser hasn't even tried to communicate with me and sincerely & fully apologized -- the crime is STILL in progress. ~~~~ I remember once seeing a cartoon that showed a father examining his young son's report card, which was filled with Ds and Fs. As the father scowled, the boy asked: "What do you think it is, Dad, here...

The Lessons of Yom Kippur I n the Jewish tradition of midrash, there is the expression "davar akheyr," which means "another thing," a story. Rabbis have always told stories as a central part of their teaching. So today, I will tell you a story. It's not my story. But I can relate. Instead, it's a true story from one of my very favorite storytellers, Anne Lamott. This one comes from her book Traveling Mercies. I've abridged it just a little, but it's called "Forgiveness." **** The fruit of forgiveness. Annie says that God was trying to tell her, trying to point out that if she could just step back and allow a little forgiveness into her way of seeing, things would change. It's like that, though, forgiveness. Usually, we have to be forced to give it a try. But whenever we do, for whatever reason we might do it, things change. They always change. Oh, other people might not change. But we change. Our experience of the world changes...

The lack of ritual makes Yom Kippur's power elusive for many. How do we make meaning from the holiest but most daunting day on the Jewish calendar? By Rahel Musleah My friend Anat dreads Yom Kippur. Fasting makes her grumpy, and by morning she already has a headache. Nor does the synagogue setting encourage atonement, meditation or self-reflection for her. As a nonobservant Jew, she says, "my relationship with God is such that I can't even begin to atone for what I do—nor do I want to. What's left are my relationships with other people, and I try to take care of those on a daily basis." Still, says Anat, the strong aura of the day, redolent of childhood and community, draws her to spend Yom Kippur in the synagogue. "If this is a holy day I'll treat it as such and stand with others around me. Every year I think about the millions of people who are doing exactly what I am doing on Yom Kippur. It doesn't matter how secular I am. This is my commitme...

(where are the feminists? why aren't we marching in the streets to stop this heinous and barbaric practice on American soil?! Isn't FEMINISM the notion that WOMEN ARE PEOPLE TOO!) by Cinnamon Stillwell Throughout the United States, Canada, and Europe, young Muslim women are being targeted for violence. Lest it be thought hate crimes are to blame, it is, in fact, their own relatives who are the perpetrators. So-calledthonor killings, whereby a Muslim male family member, typically the father, murders his daughter in order to defend the family's honor, is a growing problem. While statistics are notoriously hard to come by due to the private nature of such crimes and the fact that very few are reported, the United Nations Population Fund approximates that as many as 5,000 women are murdered in this manner each year worldwide. Undoubtedly that's a low estimate, as reports from Turkey, Jordan, Pakistan and the Palestinian territories, among other locales, are fil...