BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS

My blogger sista Layla, wrote such a good post in July 2007 about a subject which I have discussed with many bloggers during the last 7 years which I have been fiddling around with blogs. Blogging was a great way to keep my mind active, now that I am unable and diagnosed unfit to work. I am teaching myself CSS and other coding little by little. Old horses do learn new tricks! When I started blogging I refused to talk politics.  According to my therapists I still lack a lot of self-esteem. Over the years I was told by far too many people I was stupid, ugly, worthless, too intense, had a big mouth and ended up saying 'yes' to things any rational person would have said "NO WAY" too.   Undiagnosed PTSD had me doing irrational things that no one would accept an apology for.  I went out of my way to make people happy, to my own detriment. So my blog was a mishmash of this and that. Stuff I had written on a good day and so on. I helped out 2 websites for a ...

Being diagnosed with a chronic disability can be very devastating. I'm not throwing a pity-party here, just sharing some insight. I went through every single one of the stages in this article and sometimes I back up and do them again. With the return of hot weather, I have been in terrible flare. I read JOB a lot and his bargaining and arguing with Hashem. I relate. I hate being like this. HATE IT. There is no relation between the me I am now and the person I was. My own children will never know the person I was. I grieve that a lot. One of my own late parents (who was pathologically disordered) told my ex-husband to "leave me" because I was "useless to him" now. It took me years to give away the power suits I wore to work or auditions. Now, I have thrown myself into motherhood - the best I can - the way I threw myself into work projects. Being disabled means you are part of an underclass that is neither to be seen or heard. Maybe because we invi...

I have had experienced this four times in the eight plus years I have been blogging. I had my computer hacked twice since 2004 and my IP address misused.  I was phished in 2010 -- twice and also had my IP address spoofed.  I (and a number of other people) had my hotmail account hacked by Nigerian Scammers and then sold for people to use for spam or proxies. (I've gotten emails from people I don't know and have never heard of - all of which I have reported to the proper outlets) It's frustrating. Like someone scrawling "for a good time call [your name or phone number]" on the bathroom wall back in school. (I will not count comment spam, etc.) Also, like many disabled bloggers, I am able to keep my sanity and learn new things by blogging. It puts me in touch with other 'adults' ( since I have long periods where I can't go out or very far ) as well as putting the news and fresh ideas right in my living room. I was lucky enough to have a coupl...

"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering. ...In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator's first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it on hers...