The lack of ritual makes Yom Kippur's power elusive for many. How do we make meaning from the holiest but most daunting day on the Jewish calendar? By Rahel Musleah My friend Anat dreads Yom Kippur. Fasting makes her grumpy, and by morning she already has a headache. Nor does the synagogue setting encourage atonement, meditation or self-reflection for her. As a nonobservant Jew, she says, "my relationship with God is such that I can't even begin to atone for what I do—nor do I want to. What's left are my relationships with other people, and I try to take care of those on a daily basis." Still, says Anat, the strong aura of the day, redolent of childhood and community, draws her to spend Yom Kippur in the synagogue. "If this is a holy day I'll treat it as such and stand with others around me. Every year I think about the millions of people who are doing exactly what I am doing on Yom Kippur. It doesn't matter how secular I am. This is my commitme...
As many of you already know, I am not a fan of the current psychobabble 'forgive & forget' model of adult discourse. Some things are unforgiveable. I am always willing to listen, discuss, open the door to considerate communication that doesn't attack or blame and of course - genuine apology that owns the behavior that caused the rift in the first place. No one should be expected to forgive without repentance by the perpetrator. No one. But blanket forgiveness? Sorry. That, in my humble opinion, is for suckers. excerpts From the political to the persona l, Americans are caught in an orgy of forgiveness. Failure to pardon, we're constantly admonished, will blight our lives. Now a psychotherapist counters that popular claim. You can refuse to absolve your lover, spouse, parent, sibling or friend, she declares, and still be emotionally healthy. Flip to any television station these days and chances are we'll be witness to some dramatic episode of fo...
REVEREND, YOUR ACCOUNTABILITY MOMENT IS HERE My late mother was one of those people who clung to the idea that homosexuality was a mental illness and could be CURED. Even though science disproved this in her lifetime, she clung to it. Discomfort or her dogged dislike of change; I don't know why. She set up a number of 'blind dates' for me when I was busy with my career - every single one with an obviously gay man. Then she would rage at me about my gay friends, though I think she wanted to marry me off to the first breathing, carbon based life form and gay men weren't it. I wonder if she thought I could convert them? Though I had no intention of doing so. My brother and I have a friend who we both met in high school who is openly gay. He's also our family lawyer and works on GLBT issues in our state. My mother had problems with him being in the house when he was just my friend. When my brother befriended him though, she mellowed out without changing her sta...
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