Opening Up the Mikvah
As a child, Tucker Lieberman could barely stand to take showers. When he passed the bathroom mirror, he would “go into what almost seemed like a mild state of shock, with chills and painful, uncontrollable shaking” because the girl’s body that he saw didn’t accord with his understanding of himself as a young man. Even after having chest surgery, taking hormones, and living as a man for seven years, he avoided undressing in men’s locker rooms. Nonetheless, in March of 2005, he and a friend entered Mayyim Hayyim Living Waters Community Mikvah and Education Center in Newton, Massachusetts, undressed, and experienced Judaism’s most intimate ritual—immersion in the mikvah (ritual bath).
Mikvah immersion can be a daunting experience for anyone whose body does not conform to commonly held expectations. It requires the participant to completely disrobe, enter a bath, and dip below the surface of the water. In immersions that are governed by Jewish law, such as for conversion or family purity, a guide must witness the ritual to ensure that the participant has immersed completely. The vulnerability involved in the process may be daunting for transgender people who, like Tucker, are born into bodies that do not match their gender identity. Along with this vulnerability, they face the knowledge that traditional communities would exclude transgendered people from the mikvah, and perhaps from their communities as well.
Nonetheless, mikvah immersion stands out as a compelling ritual for individuals struggling with gender identity or changing their gender or sex. Traditional Judaism, with its prohibitions against cross-dressing, certainly prescribes no life cycle ritual for gender transition. Modern uses of mikvah emphasize rebirth and healing; particularly appropriate for individuals who often confront prejudice and misunderstanding while dealing with great change. In recent years, as individuals have sought ways to connect more deeply with Jewish tradition, they have often embraced mikvah as a way to mark a variety of life cycle events. Rabbi Michelle Medwin has overseen rituals for a woman going through fertility treatments and for a widow who wanted to move on after mourning her husband’s death. She says, “There’s certainly an encouragement to use mikvah in creative ways within the liberal Jewish community.”
Creating Sacred Space
Unfortunately, the orthodox authorities who operate most mikvaot around the country often limit immersion to rituals prescribed by Jewish law. As a result, several communities have built their own mikvah facilities that encourage both innovative and traditional uses of ritual immersion. Even among those organizations, Mayyim Hayyim is leading the way in making the mikvah experience accessible and meaningful for everyone, regardless of gender or sexual identity. Opened in May of 2004, Mayyim Hayyim is an interdenominational center envisioned by community leaders, including author Anita Diamant, to be “a sacred space open to all Jews in the Greater Boston area.” At the organization’s core are seven guiding principles including petichut (inclusion) and klal yisrael (the oneness of the Jewish people).
Making the mikvah experience truly safe for transgender individuals is complicated by the fact that immersion is among the most strictly gendered rituals in Jewish tradition. Although men and women used the bath equally in ancient times, since the destruction of the Temple immersion has been primarily a women’s practice. The laws of niddah (family purity) require women to immerse after each menstrual period before they can have physical contact with their husbands. Most mikvaot have separate times for men and women to immerse, and many are communal baths, which makes transgender inclusion even more challenging.
Rabbi Medwin had little experience with transgender issues until a young woman named Rebecca (name has been changed) asked her to do a funeral for her old, male self. Rebecca, who was born into a male body and spent her first twenty years as Robert, had just completed her first year of living as a woman. Her relationship with Judaism had lapsed, and she wanted to reconnect with the tradition while marking her transition. Rabbi Medwin suggested that instead of a funeral, Rebecca affirm her womanhood and new life through immersion in the mikvah.
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