Pathological Liars Believe in the Lies
There is a reason why you are asked in court to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. It is because most of the time that is not what people do. Everyone lies sometime. There are many reasons to lie. Sometimes it is to not hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes a lie is for our own advantage. Some people lie in conducting business and in their personal lives. Most adults are aware of when they lie.
Young children sometimes have problems telling fantasy from reality. When a 3-year-old insists that he flew to Mars this morning, he may not be lying on purpose. He may not even be aware that it is a lie. Children with good imaginations often take longer to learn what a lie really is. It is important to work with children to teach them about fantasy and reality, instead of punishing them for these kinds of beliefs.
A pathological liar believes in the lies, at least at the time that she or he is talking. Their stories tend to be very dramatic. They often portray the person as being smarter, braver, more attractive, or more interesting than she or he really is. Sometimes people begin to catch onto pathological liars because of obvious flaws in the stories.
A fairly young man will describe his heroics in the Vietnam war. A homely woman will talk about all the men who fell instantly in love with her. Sometimes the flaws may be more subtle and it may take a knowledgeable person to find them. Often it happens that a pathological liar will be caught out at a party by someone who really was a pilot, really lived in Africa, or really was a fashion model.
Suspect a pathological liar if:
Sometimes pathological lying appears to be related to physical causes, such as problems in the brain. Other times they appear to be related to low self-esteem. In any case, good diagnosis and treatment is needed.
RED FLAGS
Turvey adds: “Con artists look for people who have low self-esteem and exploit that. They are parasitic and live off of others’ goodwill.”
But there are signs to look out for. “Con artists and other psychopaths spend a lot of time talking about themselves in a self-aggrandizing fashion - bragging about their larger-than-life accomplishments and grand schemes, which are often completely fabricated,” Turvey notes. “Also, watch out for people who constantly need to borrow money - they always have a sob story, or they’ve ‘forgotten/ lost their wallets.’
Despite the grandiose boasting, Caldwell notes, pathological liars tend to ask and know more intimate and personal details about your life than you do about theirs. Before you plunge too deeply into a relationship, think about what you really know about the person. Is there hard evidence to back up the information? More than just 'their word'?
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Young children sometimes have problems telling fantasy from reality. When a 3-year-old insists that he flew to Mars this morning, he may not be lying on purpose. He may not even be aware that it is a lie. Children with good imaginations often take longer to learn what a lie really is. It is important to work with children to teach them about fantasy and reality, instead of punishing them for these kinds of beliefs.
A pathological liar believes in the lies, at least at the time that she or he is talking. Their stories tend to be very dramatic. They often portray the person as being smarter, braver, more attractive, or more interesting than she or he really is. Sometimes people begin to catch onto pathological liars because of obvious flaws in the stories.
A fairly young man will describe his heroics in the Vietnam war. A homely woman will talk about all the men who fell instantly in love with her. Sometimes the flaws may be more subtle and it may take a knowledgeable person to find them. Often it happens that a pathological liar will be caught out at a party by someone who really was a pilot, really lived in Africa, or really was a fashion model.
Suspect a pathological liar if:
- the stories seem too dramatic or unrealistic
- the lies seem to serve no purpose except to impress people or
- the lies can easily be shown up
Sometimes pathological lying appears to be related to physical causes, such as problems in the brain. Other times they appear to be related to low self-esteem. In any case, good diagnosis and treatment is needed.
RED FLAGS
Turvey adds: “Con artists look for people who have low self-esteem and exploit that. They are parasitic and live off of others’ goodwill.”
But there are signs to look out for. “Con artists and other psychopaths spend a lot of time talking about themselves in a self-aggrandizing fashion - bragging about their larger-than-life accomplishments and grand schemes, which are often completely fabricated,” Turvey notes. “Also, watch out for people who constantly need to borrow money - they always have a sob story, or they’ve ‘forgotten/ lost their wallets.’
“Another sign is someone who is amused by cruelty. If they laugh at others’ suffering - not a nervous laugh, but genuine laughter at someone’s pain,” that’s a sign that you’ve got a psychopath on your hands, Turvey says.
Despite the grandiose boasting, Caldwell notes, pathological liars tend to ask and know more intimate and personal details about your life than you do about theirs. Before you plunge too deeply into a relationship, think about what you really know about the person. Is there hard evidence to back up the information? More than just 'their word'?
SOURCE
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