SOME THINGS IN LIFE WE JUST KNOW ARE TRUE

"THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN LIFE WE JUST KNOW ARE TRUE"

I love Mariska Hargitay on LAW & ORDER: SVU. She's a wonderful actress who's able to get across a lot of subtleties. As a former actress myself, its not easy to show inner conflict without looking like you are needlessly chewing the scenery. But Hargitay pulls it off. Beautifully.

I also have a tremendous amount of respect for her using her celebrity to help end sexual violence and assist exploited women in their quest for healing. Her character on SVU, Olivia Benson, is a child of rape. A tough spot for any one to be in and a clue that her character's job may be a way of working out her inner demons about her origins.

I understand this personally as a survivor. I know I will never ever again be able to trust my 'gut' or trust that I know a good person from a bad. When you are raised believing that abuse is o.k., its impossible to ever really know when you're being exploited. Even after years of therapy. Therapy and trauma counseling has helped me tremendously with the re-victimizations I have experienced. Whether your abuse was verbal, mental, financial, sexual or physical - its wrong. Just plain wrong. And abusing a child is even worse because they grow up to be someone like me - smart about everything but her own emotional boundaries. That's not right. Because of this I have made a lot of bad decisions - but I spend the little free time I have working on my site for victims, speaking with over victims to help validate their experience and let them know they are not alone and helping them find help and the courage to get out. I also pray many times a day for those who have hurt me. I pray for other victims to practice the healing truth of speaking out without revenge. And I am open to reparations from my abusers - even though I know they have no intention of doing so and find excuses not to.

I'm posting an article written recently by her. Please, if you have the time, repost this or disseminate to every woman you know and care about. Sexual abuse is a horrible thing and you never get over it. We need to stop it. NOW.

Sexual Violence and Illuminating the Road to Health and Happiness
by Mariska Hargitay

Like most people these days, I can admit to a dependency issue with email. I have a computer in my office, a laptop at home and a Blackberry in my pocket. I am a lousy typist, but these gadgets keep me connected to my friends, family and business associates. And, on an almost daily basis, my website receives emails that remind me why I do what I do. "I have never told this to anyone before," is how they often begin. What follows is all too familiar: heart-wrenching, soul-shattering stories of domestic violence, abuse and sexual assault.

According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (www.rainn.org) one out of six women and one out of thirty-three men in America are victims of sexual assault. Every two-and-a-half minutes, someone is sexually assaulted in our country. It is happening right now, as you read this. And it is unacceptable.

When I first took the role of detective Olivia Benson on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit in 1999, I was not aware of the epidemic level of sexual violence in America. I was an actor who was more comfortable working in comedies and I grappled with the complexities of playing a woman who was conceived when her mother was raped. Olivia Benson is strong and compassionate, unflinchingly resolved to righting what is wrong. It's the kind of role that can define an actor's career and I feel privileged that it also defines my life. It has turned this actor into an activist, one who is committed to seeing an end to domestic abuse and sexual violence in our lives.

Illuminating these issues in an uncompromising and often controversial television drama was my professional responsibility but it became a personal mission. The show exposes the darkest corners of the human condition, but it also explores our hopes for a more loving and respectful society. The idea that we can recover from our wounds is an integral part of the scripts and it resonates with viewers who have found the courage to disclose their painful memories to me.

That is a sacred trust, one that far exceeds the dream that most actors have of forging a connection with other people. I felt a great responsibility to these brave survivors to let them know that they had been heard and that they could have hope. I studied the subject, trained to become a rape crisis counselor, and have used my visibility as an actress to become an advocate. In 2002, I started the Joyful Heart Foundation to help survivors of sexual assault heal their minds, bodies and spirits and reclaim their lives.

I am honored to be talking about this on Living Now, which can set an example of the good things that can happen when technology and humanity create a conduit for inspiration and change. This is what Joyful Heart and my work as an actor, woman, wife and mother is all about -- letting people know that their lives have value and meaning, that no matter what has happened to them, they can recover.

Often when women are abused and assaulted, it is like the doors to their souls are slammed shut.

The goal of Joyful Heart is to let the light, and the life, back in -- to banish the darkness and shame and illuminate the road to health and happiness. In the process of creating programs for our members, we quickly realized that everyone heals differently, but that positive experiences can reprogram the damage that emotional and physical trauma cause. Joyful Heart provides an extensive network of resources for women and groundbreaking retreats that include yoga, writing workshops, art therapy, surf camps and swimming with dolphins in the wild, which complement traditional counseling and therapy. It replenishes my spirit to see how these activities can bring the light back into the eyes of survivors. It is a great reward for doing what has always felt right to me.

As Willow Bay put it on a recent post on this page, "There are some things in life we just know are true. Now science, it seems, is proving our hunches right."

I started on the path to where I am now with little more than a hunch, a feeling that I had an opportunity and that I could make the most of it if I trusted my instincts to guide me. It takes persistence and a certain fearlessness to believe in something that others don't yet see, but it is absolutely worth it. That effort has taken me from being a struggling actor in Los Angeles to living a life of fulfillment and purpose in New York City. I was not planning to become an advocate for social change but I listened to an inner voice that said, "You can make a difference." I trusted that it was telling me the truth.

There are some things we know are true that can never be proven by science. We know that hate kills and love heals.

This knowledge exists inside of all us, in the collective heart that makes up humanity, and the world will be a better place when we validate these truths in the examples we set, the deeds we do and the lives we lead.

-- Mariska Hargitay, President & Founder, The Joyful Heart Foundation