The Objectification of Humanity

The older I get, the more I realize that one of the big things I have missed a lot of in my life - is love. Not just the word but the feeling. The unconditional feeling.

Oh, I have given it out aplenty and been slapped in the face with it. Part of it because I am a magnet for pathological types. I was raised by one so this makes unfortunate sense. When the Beatles said "the love you make is equal to the love you take" they didn't have me in mind.

According to psychologist Ilan Shrira, narcissists are more likely to have a history of short-term sexual conquests compared to people who consider commitment the most important aspect of a relationship.

"Narcissists have a heightened sense of sexuality, but they tend to view sex very differently than other people do," said Shrira. "They see sexuality more in terms of power, influence and as something daring, in contrast to people with low narcissistic qualities who associated sex more with caring and love."

It may come as no surprise to hear that men are generally more narcissistic than women. A finding that could even explain the wandering eye syndrome women see in their male partners.

"Even when [narcissists] are in a relationship, they always seem to be on the lookout for other partners and searching for a better deal," Shrira said. "Whether that's because of their heightened sexuality or because they think multiple partners enhance their self-image isn't entirely clear."

The results of one study showed that highly narcissistic people were 50 times more likely to view sexual intercourse as a way of increasing their own sexual pleasure, rather than complementing partner intimacy.

But if you're intending to try and avoid any kind of relationship with a narcissist, you may have your work cut out for you. Narcissists usually have highly developed social skills, and can, on first meetings, appear to be quite charming. But the mood soon changes soon after they've initially won your confidence, says Shrira. "Once you get to know these people, you realize they're very self-focused and are always bringing the conversation back to themselves," he said.

SOURCE

Wait!! No blogging pity party here. I am not doing a 'woe-is-me' post so bear with me. And don't worry - right now I am not in love with anyone either. This is about something else. Not just people. HUMANITY. What led me to think about this was some items sent to me by others via email over the weekend. It ties right into what I believe is the "objectification of humanity."

Let me explain: I have said many times on this blog that I believe a lot of news has drifted the way of soft core porn. Or as I call it the 'Rupert Murdochization' of news. If its not salacious, gossipy, slanderous, hateful, divisive or downright obnoxious - it barely gets a blip on the latest news cycle. Nothing is followed up on. It's just out & out hate mongering, in my opinion. As loose a cannon as Britney Spears is I am bone tired of reading about whether she had panties on or not last night. Or how scantily clad some flavor of the moment was at last night's premiere. Its part of the dumbing down of America.

I am not playing along.

Excerpts:

Many people think of Judaism as the religion of cold, harsh laws, to be contrasted with Christianity, the religion of love and brotherhood. This is an unfair characterization of both Judaism and Jewish law. Love and kindness has been a part of Judaism from the very beginning.

A large part of Jewish law is about the relationship between man and his neighbors.

In fact, acts of lovingkindness are so much a part of Jewish law that the word "mitzvah" (literally, "commandment") is informally used to mean any good deed.

Judaism is not content to leave love and brotherhood as a general ideal, to be fulfilled as each individual sees fit. Judaism spells out, in intricate detail, how we are meant to show that love.

Jewish law includes within it a blueprint for a just and ethical society, where no one takes from another or harms another or takes advantage of another, but everyone gives to one another and helps one another and protects one another. Again, these are not merely high ideals; the means for fulfilling these ideals are spelled out in the 613 commandments.

The full scope of Jewish law goes much farther in requiring us to protect our fellow man. We are commanded not to leave a condition that may cause harm, to construct our homes in ways that will prevent people from being harmed, and to help a person whose life is in danger, so long as it does not put our own lives in danger. These commandments regarding the preservation of life are so important in Judaism that they override all of the ritual observances that people think are the most important part of Judaism.

Jewish law even forbids us from cheating another or taking advantage of another.

SOURCE

Boy oh boy - the non-stop sexual stuff. Covered as "news." I am afraid to let my kids watch television and I rarely let them do so without supervision. The latest from Victoria's Secret, the pills that make sure you only get a period four times a year (I have huge issues with that one but that's another post for another day), some guy making innuendo about how little he "scores," or some girl talking about her latest romp with another up-and-coming. Who cares? Apparently almost everyone but me. But, isn't this harmful to others?

If I wanted porn I would go and rent porn or download some. Which I don't because I find it all disgusting & objectifying. And yes, what this non-stop soft-core salacious feedbag we call news is doing is causing us to OBJECTIFY each other. We stop seeing each other as HUMAN. We need to see each other sentient human beings with feelings, dreams and aspirations. We need to stop harming each other's humanity.

And my friends wonder why I almost never go out.

Just look at this recent selection from SLATE. One of the 'most emailed articles' on the site. There's a war in Iraq, there's oppression of people all over the world, Islamofascism, Israel in jeopardy, clitorectomies, Sharia, rape, problems here in the U.S., yet THIS is what people are emailing each other. Slow news period I guess.

We have lost site of true intimacy or are just incapable of it anymore. I don't mean sex - I mean emotional, intellectual or personal intimacy. Such as the kind between close friends. The unconditional sharing of ideas. As the axiom says "someone who sees & knows all your faults and loves you anyway."

People are not just whistlestops on the way to a good time.

I missed a lot of oneness in my late marriage. Maybe because I am a human being, not a thing or a slave. The MSM is far too efficient at turning all of us into "things." We are all God's creations and God doesn't make "things" of us. He makes us in His image. So, I don't use other people because I try to treat others as I want to be treated. I work to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

And you?

Intimacy: The Jewish Approach
By Mrs. Leah Kohn

The Western world, the culture we live in, has considerable difficulty with the concept of sexual intimacy. One indication is the culture's obsession with the subject. On highway billboards, in magazine ads, in best selling novels, in almost every form from high art to low language, sexual innuendo dominates.

In Jewish life, sexual intimacy is also a big issue, but in perhaps a more resolved sense than in contemporary society. Jewish intimacy contains the highest potential for spirituality, as a means through which a married couple expresses their holiness. At its highest the sexual union in a Jewish marriage brings holiness beyond the household, into the world at large. This happens through the spiritual, emotional and physical bond of husband and wife.

According to Jewish thought, a husband and wife are originally one soul before birth, split in half when the first of the two is conceived. Marriage - and more specifically intimacy between husband and wife - represents the reunion of halves as a single entity. In describing the reunion that marital relations represents, the Torah tells us, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

Oneness - the central goal of Jewish marriage - is not easy to achieve. By marriageable age, each individual has a unique history and experience, not to mention distinct likes and dislikes. Fortunately, Jewish marriage itself provides tools for reconciling the divergent backgrounds of husband and wife, without promoting loss of individual identity. One such tool is the practice of family purity, with the mikvah (ritual bath) as its centerpiece. Historically, mikvah has played a critical role in Jewish life, so much so that the rabbis of the Talmud ruled that a community without both mikvah and synagogue must first build a mikvah. While mikvah and family purity were once part and parcel of Jewish life, to this day their practice provides stability and richness for a significant percentage of observant Jews.

The word mikvah means collection. A mikvah is a pool that collects natural water from rain, a river or an underground spring untouched by human hands. Though a mikvah looks something like a small pool or bath, it is truly a spiritual tool, rather than an entity connected to personal hygiene. In fact, a user must be perfectly physically clean prior to immersion.

Jewish men and women alike immerse in the mikveh prior to engaging in certain ritual acts. In the practice of family purity, the woman immerses, following a period of physical separation from her husband that commences with the onset of menstruation. On the eve of the night the couple is to resume relations, the wife enters the waters of the mikvah, where she says a prayer inviting God to sanctify her forthcoming intimacy with her husband. Her immersion marks the start of renewed physical intimacy between husband and wife. This phase of their relationship lasts until the start of her next period.

The significance of mikvah in this monthly change of status in a marriage can be understood by examining the spiritual potential of water, itself. According to the Torah, water filled the world in the first stage of Creation. Genesis 1:2 reads, "...when the earth was astonishingly empty, with darkness upon the surface of the deep, and the Divine Presence hovered upon the surface of the waters..."

In connection with the primordial character of water, the waters of a mikveh at their time of collection remain untouched by human hands. (Jewish law mandates they come from rainfall or from an underground source). The waters of mikveh have the potential to renew, refresh and confer a sense of new beginning, reminiscent of the world at its very birth. When a woman visits the mikvah she, in a sense, emerges from the water and starts fresh, unencumbered by past obstacles to her personal growth and vision. After visiting the mikveh she returns home to imbue her marriage, family and relationships with the cohesiveness and harmony that belong to each and every Jewish woman.

Lecture by Mrs. Feige Twerski, adapted from "The Intimate Road: Men and Women in Jewish Relationships," published 1993. Mrs. Twerski provides insight into the challenges facing the family today, with emphasis on the role of the contemporary Jewish woman.

MORE - THE 5 TYPES OF INTIMACY