The Kabbalah of "Crucify"

When I first heard this song in 1991 I instantly loved it. I also loved Tori Amos' soaring lyrics and music for many of her songs. Edgy and raw and honest. As I learned more about Amos' public outreach to rape victims; as she was a rape victim herself -- I learned to appreciate Tori Amos even more.

As an abuse victim & survivor - I related to this song. I also relate to the aftermath of abuses -- in which the abuser classically "crucifies" the victim by blaming them, shaming them and denial of the abuse. Often, if the victim empowers themselves by telling and naming the abuse & abuser -- the victim is "crucified" for doing so by both perpetrators and "bystanders" in our pervasively 'blame the victim' skewed culture that chronically tells victims to shut up about it; when what they really need to heal - is to TELL and be validated.


This blog post excerpt from Jason Sechrest on the Kabbalistic principles in "Crucify" is worth a read -- and some contemplation.



(While you enjoy one of my favorite songs)

FOR THOSE ON AN AGGREGATOR - TO WATCH THE VIDEO CLICK HERE

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One way to meditate when you don't have time is to listen to music with spiritual or even Kabbalistic themes. And that surprisingly isn't just limited to Madonna, though she's great for that sort of thing too. ;-)

Today is Passover and as my blog yesterday explains, today is the day to focus on breaking whatever chains that bind you. Take some time out today to listen to this clip while you're working.

The themes of the Tori Amos song "Crucify" are appropriate for this powerful period we're embarking on, touching upon many of the things I went over yesterday. That God does not need another victim, that our hearts are sick of being chained and the final vow to never go back to crucify our own selves again.

Kabbalah teaches us that every word we utter has either a positive or negative affect on the world. Like words, music carries the same weight. The energy of the music we listen to affects us in either a positive or negative way -- and we then carry its energy in our own affects on the world at large.

I particularly like this live version of the song with her added verses at the end:

"And I am never going back again. No way. On the floor that day, head in my hands, at your feet. This I swear, I have crawled my way back and I am never going back again to crucify myself every day."

Powerful words to aim at our ancient adversary.

ORIGINAL

CRUCIFY by Tori Amos
Every finger in the room
is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell our now

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim

Got a kick for a dog
Beggin' for Love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl
If you kill the bird

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start
my own religion
Please be
Save me
I cry

[Chorus:]
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
And my heart is sick of being in chains

TORI AMOS' SITE FOR RAPE SURVIVORS