Anger Reveals Soul Mates?
Any of my readers know I am against blanket forgiveness. Forgiveness without the repentance of the person who hurt you - or you repenting to those you've hurt - is nothing. It's a "get out of jail free" card that will do nothing to heal the emotional, spiritual and psychological rift. It's bullpocky that I reject completely.
Though your anger at someone else - does start to eat at your very soul. When I am completely disgusted & disappointed in someone - eventually I feel nothing. They become dead to me. Or, like my ex, his abuse numbed me to the point of feeling nothing but cordiality towards him. And a desire to work with him as politely as I could for the welfare of our children. But nothing else. No desire for revenge. Not hate or anger... just indifference.
I abhor any ahavah ha-t'luyah b'davar: "love that is conditional." This is love that treats the other person or you, as an object. True love is unconditional because the other is just "like you": kamokha. Real kedushah, or "holiness," is found when any two people are profoundly connected. Not just in marriage, but friends, coworkers, family can be profoundly connected. These relationships have the potential for the most damaging of arguments, revenges, hate & anger.
That said, I am for restorative justice. If someone who hurt you wants to apologize, admit what they've done and even work to try to restore some level of communication with you. In an honest & open matter. Doesn't mean you have to forget or blindly trust - but it means you have opened the door. That is tikkun. That is repair. That is where genuine forgiveness comes in.
It is sad that it happens so rarely in life.
by Rabbi Berg
Sometimes what we argue about is what brings us together.
I read that on a movie poster. Genius. It totally captures the energy of the coming week. Let's face it, we all have mothers, brothers, friends, colleagues who we… how do I say this politely… we can't stand. Just being in the same room with them sends us into an emotional tizzy.
The Ari reveals an amazing secret about this. He says the people we hate the most come from the same soul root as we do. It is written that all of humanity comes from the soul of Adam; we are each correcting a different part of his ‘original sin.'
Some of us come from the heel, some from the head, some from the heart. When we share a root soul with someone, it means we have come alive to correct similar attributes. Those of us from the head might be working on being more spiritual and less analytical, those of us from the heart might be working on having more love and compassion, those of us from the heel might be working on addiction and destructive relationships.
The Ari also says there are two levels of relationship we can experience with people with whom we share a common correction. The first level is hatred. Because there are too many klippot keeping us from seeing the good in the other person, we only see their filth. Although we are of the same spiritual DNA, the klippot runs so deep that it blinds us to the truth.
The second level is deep love. When we get past that which separates us, we see that this person is our soul mate. I know this is true in my own life; many of my closest friends today are people with whom I once did not get along.
SOURCE
Though your anger at someone else - does start to eat at your very soul. When I am completely disgusted & disappointed in someone - eventually I feel nothing. They become dead to me. Or, like my ex, his abuse numbed me to the point of feeling nothing but cordiality towards him. And a desire to work with him as politely as I could for the welfare of our children. But nothing else. No desire for revenge. Not hate or anger... just indifference.
I abhor any ahavah ha-t'luyah b'davar: "love that is conditional." This is love that treats the other person or you, as an object. True love is unconditional because the other is just "like you": kamokha. Real kedushah, or "holiness," is found when any two people are profoundly connected. Not just in marriage, but friends, coworkers, family can be profoundly connected. These relationships have the potential for the most damaging of arguments, revenges, hate & anger.
That said, I am for restorative justice. If someone who hurt you wants to apologize, admit what they've done and even work to try to restore some level of communication with you. In an honest & open matter. Doesn't mean you have to forget or blindly trust - but it means you have opened the door. That is tikkun. That is repair. That is where genuine forgiveness comes in.
It is sad that it happens so rarely in life.
"It was taught: Which is vengeance and which is bearing a grudge? If one said: Lend me your scythe, and she was refused; and the next day the other said to her: Lend me your spade -- If she replied: 'I will not lend it to you, just as you did not lend it to me' -- this is vengeance; and if she replied: 'Here it is -- I am not like you, who do not lend' -- this is bearing a grudge." (Babylonian Talmud [BT], Yoma 23a)
by Rabbi BergSometimes what we argue about is what brings us together.
I read that on a movie poster. Genius. It totally captures the energy of the coming week. Let's face it, we all have mothers, brothers, friends, colleagues who we… how do I say this politely… we can't stand. Just being in the same room with them sends us into an emotional tizzy.
The Ari reveals an amazing secret about this. He says the people we hate the most come from the same soul root as we do. It is written that all of humanity comes from the soul of Adam; we are each correcting a different part of his ‘original sin.'
Some of us come from the heel, some from the head, some from the heart. When we share a root soul with someone, it means we have come alive to correct similar attributes. Those of us from the head might be working on being more spiritual and less analytical, those of us from the heart might be working on having more love and compassion, those of us from the heel might be working on addiction and destructive relationships.
The Ari also says there are two levels of relationship we can experience with people with whom we share a common correction. The first level is hatred. Because there are too many klippot keeping us from seeing the good in the other person, we only see their filth. Although we are of the same spiritual DNA, the klippot runs so deep that it blinds us to the truth.
The second level is deep love. When we get past that which separates us, we see that this person is our soul mate. I know this is true in my own life; many of my closest friends today are people with whom I once did not get along.
SOURCE
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