He Was a Quiet Man...
The late but still great & unmatchable Rodney Dangerfield had a punchline that went "he was a quiet man." The patter went that this was the line you always heard about some psycho who shot up his home or hacked his neighbors. The one thing I learned when doing comedy - the truth, well said - it always the biggest laugh.
Today, Rodney was right again.
Man attacks passerby with machete; throws Molotov cocktails at police car
A lunatic who randomly attacked a man with a machete fought off cops by hurling Molotov cocktails at them from the roof of his Queens home Tuesday, police said.
Felipe Velasquez, 21, began the rampage that set a police car ablaze because "I had a bad day," he told police.
Velasquez erupted about 5:30 p.m. when he whacked Bernard Hoffman, 45, in the head with the machete in front of the Richmond Hill home he shares with his uncle, police said.
Using an umbrella, Hoffman, who was visiting the neighborhood, outdueled his assailant, disarming him, grabbing the weapon and running to a nearby house to call cops.
When police arrived, Velasquez was ready for them, hopping between roofs with three homemade bombs he brewed in his bathtub, sources said.
"He was pacing back and forth and calmly lighting them and throwing them at the police car," said Rob Vando, 49, who manages a nearby garage.
The first combustible cocktail struck an unmarked police car, and the flames quickly devoured it. He then launched the other two at the same car, and when he ran out of ammo, he threw a 5-gallon gas can, police said.
"It felt like a war zone," said an emergency medical technician who responded to the scene. "The cops couldn't get near him because of all the flames."
The 90-minute standoff ended when NYPD Detectives Robert Zajac and Hassan Hamdy cautiously approached the house. They negotiated with Velasquez for about 30 minutes before he climbed down from the second-story roof and surrendered, they said.
"He said, 'Yesterday I had a bad day,' " Zajac said. "I said, 'We have to look past yesterday. Today is a new day. We have to make a new start. It's time to come down.'
Hoffman, the man Velasquez cut, was in stable condition last night at New York Hospital Medical Center of Queens.
Velasquez was taken to Jamaica Hospital for observation, and neighbors were happy to see him leave. Others said he was a "quiet person" who never said much.
Shawn Hosein, 32, who lives next-door, said there is often noisy traffic going into and out of the house at odd hours.
"He's crazy," Hosein said. "He's the type you don't want in the neighborhood... He's no one you want around your kids."
SOURCE
(And in the interest of fairness to my Eastern neighbors:)
DOUGHNUT SHOP ROBBED
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. - A gunman held up a doughnut shop, pistol-whipped an employee and forced her to open a safe but then ran away empty-handed after another employee grabbed his weapon, police said.
The gunman, Karsheam Simpkins, entered the doughnut shop just before 1 a.m. Sunday, confronted the two employees and ushered them toward an office in the back, Nassau County police said. He smacked a female employee with his gun and made her open the safe, they said.
But while he was going through the safe, a male employee snatched his gun from him, police said. He ran out a back door, they said.
Two police officers saw the robber running away and arrested him as he was entering his home a few blocks away, they said.
SOURCE
Doughnuts? Please.
Today, Rodney was right again.
Man attacks passerby with machete; throws Molotov cocktails at police car
A lunatic who randomly attacked a man with a machete fought off cops by hurling Molotov cocktails at them from the roof of his Queens home Tuesday, police said.Felipe Velasquez, 21, began the rampage that set a police car ablaze because "I had a bad day," he told police.
Velasquez erupted about 5:30 p.m. when he whacked Bernard Hoffman, 45, in the head with the machete in front of the Richmond Hill home he shares with his uncle, police said.
Using an umbrella, Hoffman, who was visiting the neighborhood, outdueled his assailant, disarming him, grabbing the weapon and running to a nearby house to call cops.
When police arrived, Velasquez was ready for them, hopping between roofs with three homemade bombs he brewed in his bathtub, sources said.
"He was pacing back and forth and calmly lighting them and throwing them at the police car," said Rob Vando, 49, who manages a nearby garage.
The first combustible cocktail struck an unmarked police car, and the flames quickly devoured it. He then launched the other two at the same car, and when he ran out of ammo, he threw a 5-gallon gas can, police said.
"It felt like a war zone," said an emergency medical technician who responded to the scene. "The cops couldn't get near him because of all the flames."
The 90-minute standoff ended when NYPD Detectives Robert Zajac and Hassan Hamdy cautiously approached the house. They negotiated with Velasquez for about 30 minutes before he climbed down from the second-story roof and surrendered, they said.
"He said, 'Yesterday I had a bad day,' " Zajac said. "I said, 'We have to look past yesterday. Today is a new day. We have to make a new start. It's time to come down.'
Hoffman, the man Velasquez cut, was in stable condition last night at New York Hospital Medical Center of Queens.
Velasquez was taken to Jamaica Hospital for observation, and neighbors were happy to see him leave. Others said he was a "quiet person" who never said much.
Shawn Hosein, 32, who lives next-door, said there is often noisy traffic going into and out of the house at odd hours.
"He's crazy," Hosein said. "He's the type you don't want in the neighborhood... He's no one you want around your kids."
SOURCE
(And in the interest of fairness to my Eastern neighbors:)
DOUGHNUT SHOP ROBBED
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. - A gunman held up a doughnut shop, pistol-whipped an employee and forced her to open a safe but then ran away empty-handed after another employee grabbed his weapon, police said.
The gunman, Karsheam Simpkins, entered the doughnut shop just before 1 a.m. Sunday, confronted the two employees and ushered them toward an office in the back, Nassau County police said. He smacked a female employee with his gun and made her open the safe, they said.
But while he was going through the safe, a male employee snatched his gun from him, police said. He ran out a back door, they said.
Two police officers saw the robber running away and arrested him as he was entering his home a few blocks away, they said.
SOURCE
Doughnuts? Please.
Comments