Fabricated

In light of the many dog & pony shows going on with the Obama Camp, and the player's behavior in this show; as well as the words and attitudes of some of the bloggers, bots and MSM I read, I felt this post was very timely.

It's from my friend Anna's blog. Anna, like myself, suffered from being raised by a destructive narcissistic parent. I have yet to read any of her posts that I would even take exception with. I hope you get as much out of it as I do.

Good Liars? Or Just Practiced Diversion Artists?

Dr. Robert Hare tells us that psychopaths are not the good liars they are generally acclaimed as being. In his book "Without Conscience" in the chapter titled Words from an Overcoat Pocket he outlines the anomalies of the way psychopaths use language. More accurately, how they misuse language. And some really interesting reasons as to why.

Please don't be distracted by my referring to Hare's work with psychopaths. The character-disordered have one thing in common: they lie. A lot. Lying is pervasive throughout all their interactions with others. As I have highlighted before, Dr. Hare has established that all psychopaths have a pervasive narcissistic personality. So, even on their best day, a malignant narcissist has much more in common with the psychopath than with the rest of us. Also, I know that some of you who read this blog are dealing with someone who is closer to the psychopath than not.

I have observed before that the malignant narcissist prostitutes language to their own ends. They pervert the use of language in order to destroy true communication. The purpose of language is to communicate. Narcissists use language to do the opposite. Obscure, mislead, divert, confuse. This is perversion. By perversion I am using this definition: "To put to a wrong or improper use; misuse."

"Although psychopaths lie a lot, they are not the skilled liars we often make them out to be. As I discussed earlier, their speech is full of inconsistent or contradictory statements. Psychopaths may play mental Scrabble, but they sometimes do it badly because they fail to integrate the pieces into a coherent whole; their truth line is fragmented and patchy, at best..." Without Conscience, pg. 136

So why are we often fooled by the inconsistencies and illogic of their statements? Hare states,

"[Victims] might not notice the discrepancy, particularly if they are engrossed in the action." Ibid. pg. 137 Emphasis mine.

When we are stuck in the moment with the liar there is much which is going on. They are masters of distraction. Constantly scanning your face and body language for cues as to how they should be responding to you at any particular moment, they dance here and there and zig and zag in order to lead you to whatever conclusion works best for them.

What I found particularly intriguing in this chapter of the book was Hare's analysis of the hand gestures which accompany the words under the chapter subtitle "Watch Their Hands". After accounting for the fact that certain cultures use more meaningless hand gestures than others, he then describes how psychopaths use many more "beats" (small, rapid hand gestures which are "empty" of meaning) as they talk. We all use "beats" to help us connect our words to our thoughts. The harder it is to come up with a word to describe our thoughts the more we will employ these empty hand gestures. People who are not speaking in their native tongue will use many more "beats" as they search around for the right word.

"A high rate of beat gestures appears to reflect difficulty in converting thoughts and feelings into speech." pg. 135

"Recent evidence suggests that psychopaths use more beats than do normal people, particularly when they talk about things generally considered emotional..." pg. 136 [emphasis author's]

Hare follows up this statement with what can be inferred from this evidence. You can read the book yourself to see his second inference because you need the context of the chapter to understand it, but the first one is that "emotion is like a second language to the psychopath."

To quote Spock, "fascinating".

[Hare] offers this excessive use of hand gestures as a sign of possible psychopathy. It can be a signal that the person you're talking to is having a difficult time finding the right "emotional" words to use. Groping around like someone whose second language is English, this person is not at home using words which communicate an emotional punch.

Put this one in your tool box. When you see something beating the air with their hands it may simply mean this person is having a hard time finding the words for whatever reason. But if you are conversing with someone who consistently and excessively uses "beats", at least consider the possibility that you are dealing with a narcissistic and/or psychopathic individual. It is a piece of evidence. It only has significance as it correlates with other supporting evidence. In isolation it may be meaningless.

"Expansive hand movements and exaggerated facial expressions" are part of the "dramatic display" which can blind us to the nonsensical, the odd, the illogic of the conversant. It can divert and mesmerize the smartest person. Makes me think again of the killdeer. If you've ever stepped near their eggs or young you've seen the impressive display. They are suddenly and loudly calling with their piercing vocals while running, limping and dragging a wing. Between the vocals and gestures you are diverted from the truth: that their vulnerable young are near by. Once the perceived predator has been lured a safe distance from their young by the deceptive act, the adult killdeer bursts into flight off away from the direction of its young.

In a similar way we can become entranced and distracted by an animated display and led away from the truth. The diversion artist has once again evaded real communication and hidden the truth from view.

"Society runs on trust, and we ordinarily pay more attention to what someone says than to the accompanying nonverbal behavior--hand gestures, facial movements, smiles, eye contact. However, when the speaker is attractive and gives a really impressive nonverbal performance, the effect can be reversed--we watch the show and pay little attention to what is said."
Without Conscience, pg. 145

SOURCE

Psychopaths also lie as a form of dominance. They enjoy controlling the reality of truth or not-truth that they give to women. Additionally, part of the psychopath’s pathology is his “pathological world view” which includes how he sees himself, others, and the world. His world view also dictates the issues of truth in relationship to other people.

His view on truth is skewed and he may believe that truth is what he thinks it is, as opposed to hard fact. In the beginning, the psychopath appeared to be truthful, although he wasn’t.

“His interpretation of events was always the truth. I don’t think he knew what was true and what was really false. Because he believed it, it was hard to tell that he wasn’t telling the truth. ”

Psychopaths tend to mix it up and combine truth with lies, or truth with distortions. In the beginning when a woman is still bonding with him, her ear is not in tune with his concept of truth yet:

“Looking back, there was a lot of fiction mixed in with facts.”

“It was always distorted. He thought his truth was above other people because he had this 'spiritual experience with God'.”

“He doesn’t like the real world. He makes up his own reality and then asks me to live the lie with him.”

“There was usually some element of truth in what he said — but you had to dig for it. It left you with more questions than the facts.”

Some psychopaths work alone but many of them have accumulated accomplices along the way. That’s because psychopaths are often engaging, exciting, and convincing. Their pathological world view is contagious and others begin to come on board with their philosophy of the fun life.

Some of these accomplices willfully help the psychopath. Others are totally unaware they are being “used” in ways to further the psychopath’s lies, life, income, or sex life. Many of the psychopath’s accomplices are his own family members.

Those that defend him are helpful and so are used by the psychopath.

Psychopaths also use other narcissists and psychopaths. Many psychopaths have friends just as disordered as they are, who have the same pathological world view and so have no problems assisting the psychopath in his games. Much like the outlaws of the gun-slinging days, the outlaws covered each other’s backs but then turned around and shot each other. So can be the assistance that psychopaths receive from other pathologicals.

The psychopath also uses normal people, the people he works with, the people the women work with, or mutual friends as a means to deceive...

He even uses “invisible” accomplices who supposedly deliver notes, cards, or leave messages... that support the psychopath’s storyline.

Accomplices help the psychopath keep the image he is trying to project ...

Accomplices help hide his true pathology, cover for his other relationships or addictions, and otherwise convince ...that he is a healthy and desirable guy.

Later on, accomplices can also get used to do the psychopath’s dirty work.

Excerpted from "WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS" by Sandra Brown, MA