Blog Reader Appreciation Day

A HEARTFELT THANK YOU TO READERS OF SANCTUARY FOR THE ABUSED!!!

This week Sanctuary for the Abused got it's 467,000th hit. That's 467,000 hits in the 6 years since I opened that site to the public.

I am honored and awed that so many have found resources and answers there. I am moved often to tears by the thank you letters I get from women & men who found the strength and information they needed to reclaim their lives there.

I started that blog in November, 2003 as a way to keep my own personal research on abuse private and out of view from people around me, including my abusive ex. As a voracious reader and a research junkie... I needed answers and I got them.

Five years ago I was 'emotionally raped' by a narcissistic sociopath. Someone who I had cared for and felt I was friends with for more than 1/2 my life and yet - had no idea of his true nature for those 28 years. Someone who, to this day, tells a very backward, upside-down and twisted version of the truth (projecting all the things he did on to me) I was left feeling very used & alone with no one to trust. Particularly myself. I made a decision to open that site to the public not only for my own therapy - but because the pain I realized so many others were going through was so similar to mine. I was told by to "move on" and "get over it" when psychologists and trauma counselors let me know - that would never be fully possible.

I won't tell anyone what to do about the abuse in their lives. I know I personally turned a blind eye to it for years and even rationalized it away. I learned that one big reason was because I was raised by a pathological parent so had no idea and was brainwashed to accept the unacceptable. I simply put the information out there. You must reach your own decisions.

In the last years many, many painful revelations have come for me. Only through reading, therapy and helping others - has any of what I have personally experienced made any sense at all.

In 2004 after finally getting clarification on one of the more soul-rending experiences I have had with being abused, I decided that only by trying to help others could I be right with myself about decisions I made. Since I am not being allowed to make any direct amends for any wrongs I participated in, I am hoping that site helps others - and somehow heals us all.

I know first hand what it is to be taken advantage of, brainwashed, emotionally raped, used, lied to, manipulated, laughed at, slandered, covertly abused, verbally abused, ignored, sexually used, psychologically abused and much more. I spend time seeing where people who visit there come from... what groups & links brought them to me.... and what I post there hopefully answers that.

I want to remind all of you that I am trying to make the site a one-stop-shopping place without detracting from anyone's work.

The sad thing about the site reaching 467,000 hits is that it shows the deep need for validation from victims.

It shows me that abuse, particularly non-physical abuse, is running rampant. Sociopathy and Narcissism are becoming more prevalent in our society. Women & men are suffering in silence every day for a variety of reasons -- embarassment, lack of information, feeling alone, etc. And the Internet has opened not only avenues for predators to stalk and prey on the trusting but new pathways for victims to find healing and fellowship.

I believe in the "Bumblebee Effect." The Bumblebee Effect says that in theory - a bumblebee flapping its wings in Italy, can cause an eventual tornado in Toledo, Ohio.

I believe in not just talking the talk, but walking the walk.

I participate in hands on support of other abused women as I attempt to muddle through my own ongoing issues.

Ironically, 3/29, the date 10,000 hits was reached by, was the birthdate of my original, first abuser. My history has a lot of varying types of abuse in it; abuse that I translated into my personal life - and I am determined that it will stop with me. How about you?

Again, I thank each and every one who uses Sanctuary for the Abused. I want to especially thank Jude - who showed me what blogging was, Shira, Sandra, Nani, Beth, Holly, Sandy Brown, the late Kathy Krajco, Anna Valerious and my friends who listened to me, and who - even when I showed them all the bad things I'd done - still supported me & understood, cried with me and helped me not demonize the computer but turn it into a tool for good.

And most of all, my therapist of 15 years, the late Dr. Kathryn Faughey - who when I showed her the site told me to "Continue!" and gave me advice, support, straight talk and compassion.

I even want to say thank you to my abusers - who forced me to look for ways keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Bless you all -
I remain your humble servant & fellow victim-survivor