"CURSE YOU CBS!"
"In 1963, I was watching 'Captain Kangaroo' on CBS, of course. As he was talking to Mr. Green Jeans, he placed his keys into the front pocket of his jacket and seductively jingled them.
"My mother entered the room at that moment and screamed at me to turn off that filth. She then raced me off to the hospital wondering what kind of deadly disease I might have contracted from some one named Green Jeans.
"I'm gay now and it's CBS' fault."
--Michael Warren, Manhattan
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